Poison
by Nekocin
Summary: [AU, TouyaxYukito, mild SyaoranSakura] Knowing that Sakura's going to leave his side one day, Touya goes through life, like an empty vessel. He chooses a road, ending up with someone whom he'd the least suspected to be friends with.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Poison  
**Author: **Nekocin  
**E-mail:** See my profile or livejournal  
**Type:** AU/series  
**Genres:** drama/ romance/ general  
**Anime:** Card Captor Sakura  
**Warnings:** OoC (possibly), OC (maybe), might be "dark", repetitive, time gaps  
**Pairings:** mainly TouyaYukito, other (implied) pairings like SakuraSyaoran  
**Rated:** G -- PG13 -- R, PG13 for now  
**Additional notes: **major shounen-ai factors, re-edited from "Poison" which had never been posted on the net yet, possible sexual frustrations  
**Summary I:** 2 strangers with nothing in common meet in a world of inevitability even if it's not.  
**Summary II: **Knowing that Sakura's going to leave his side one day, Touya goes through life, like an empty vessel. He chooses a -road-, ending up with someone whom he'd the least suspected to be friends with.  
**Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura belongs to CLAMP. 'nough said.  
**  
**Chapter 1: Nostalgic**  
  
It's a fine Sunday morning. The sky is clear except from the occasional small puffs of clouds that pass by over his head. The light spring breeze runs past, cooling the slightly higher temperature in the area.  
  
It seems like today's the first day he's ever acknowledged how much he's missed the little things of life like... the air, the light... even the time. Any other day he would have enjoyed this light feeling of freedom in his chest.  
  
But not today, not even at the moment.  
  
He turns his away from the sky to look at his sister, Sakura, from across the yard. She's surrounded by her little circle of friends, having fun while she's still there. Her engagement ring round her finger shines lightly.  
  
Yes. It's her engagement day. She's going to be taken away from him and placed under another man's protection... Forever. Because of that, he's simply regretted for ignoring the time that has went by between them him and Sakura; He hadn't thought about his little sister leaving him one day. But he'd known in the back of his mind that some day another male figure would steal her away, away from him forever...  
  
Ever since he'd taken up the up the responsibility of protecting Sakura with his life, he'd fended off nauseous little punks who'd dared to come close to her within a few feet. They'd never really succeeded in wooing her though...  
  
It's probably only natural after the deaths of both their parents that he's afraid his sister, the only closest blood-related family he had knew and loved, will leave him. But today, it seems he's failed in keeping her to himself, no matter how selfish it sounds.  
  
She's engaged and happy, he adds grudgingly.  
  
The only male, who doesn't seem to be scared of him, is that punk there!  
Touya pulls his eyes away from his sister and reluctantly looks at the in-law-to-be. Li Syaoran, a Chinese businessman whom Sakura's met in her field of work. The guy's standing with that ever-so-smiling and ever-so-lying husband of one of Sakura's friends, nodding naively as the other's prattling nonsense of god-knows-where he's gotten those stories.  
  
Touya doesn't quite get it why Sakura has fallen for that gaki brat. But somehow he just knows; his in-law-to-be is just... someone who's been there for his sister when he's not available. The punk has simply won her heart.  
  
And that has given Touya sleepless nights and the uncharacteristic tantrums for days. Especially when Sakura's started talking about _HIM_ with him, commenting about the gaki being so nice and kind and everything.  
  
Touya could've broken them up out of sheer anger or maybe even jealousy or protectiveness. But he didn't.  
He'd watched the love between the two unfold, blooming lovingly just like mother and father's love for each other. The dreaded day has thus arrived: the engagement day.  
  
The rings have been exchanged. And both of them have been sending kind or even longing glances to each other across the yard for the last the few minutes.  
  
She's happy. She's lucky. As long she's happy, Touya will not interfere with her life. She's free; she can fly away now.  
  
But it hurts.  
  
"Onii-chan, come on! We're taking a family picture. Just the three of us: you, Syaoran and me" Sakura touches his shoulder lightly and smiles up at him.  
  
Sakura's grown. She's really grown. It's seemed like yesterday when she still reached his hip, and today his shoulder. Her big, childish green eyes, which she'd back then, are now remarkably shining with happiness mature and... they look like kaa-san's eyes. Sakura's still kept her auburn hair short like back then; long hair is probably a nuisance. Touya has to agree that Sakura's grown in a very, pretty lady.  
  
"What's wrong?" she frowns, looking worriedly up at him and squeezes his shoulder.  
  
"Aa" he finds himself answering.  
He's not someone with many words, but Sakura seems to understand the response. _Sure_  
She smiles gently and pulls him along towards the gathered crowd in the front yard.  
  
Li Syaoran's standing patiently near the bushes as he nods his head slightly when the photographer comments about which background suits a family picture better. Li's after all going to be part of the family... unless they break off their engagement some time later, which doesn't seem likely.  
  
"Just one photo" Touya raises one finger warningly.  
  
"Whatever you say, onii-chan" Sakura smiles again and makes him stand somewhere in front of the rose bushes while she stands on his right side.  
  
"Syaoran"  
  
The husband-to-be smiles gently at Sakura and stands on his brother-in-law's other side.  
  
Touya sighs and hesitantly places a casual arm around both Sakura and her husband-to-be. It's a family photo; they're going to be one family in the future anyways.  
  
Their photo has been taken in a few seconds.  
After that he pulls away and walks out of the front yard.  
  
"Onii-chan, where are you going? Aren't you going to stay for tonight?"  
  
Touya stops in his steps and looks over his shoulder at his sister. "I've only promised to come to your engagement. I have not said I'm going to stay for tonight. Besides, I've planned on going to some other place" A deliberate lie.  
  
He throws her a small, but affectionate smile. "See you some day... kaijuu"  
  
It has taken just a few seconds before Sakura's caught up with the nickname. "I'm not a monster!" she responds automatically, shaking an angry fist at her brother.  
  
But Touya has already made his way to his car, which was parked near the lane. The nickname isn't meant to tease her consciously. It's more than just a nickname. Touya smiles faintly. She's still his little sister whenever she gets angry because of his teasing.  
  
Time just flies, he muses absently. Before he knows it he'll become the only uncle to Sakura's children... he doesn't like the feeling of knowing his sister will be sleeping with that gaki; him touching her and all-  
-he stops his thoughts abruptly.  
  
_No more thinking.  
  
Not right now._

* * *

There's always work to do: unfinished paperwork from last week, new documents of new products, and quick meetings with unknown people etcetera. There's always work.  
  
After leaving Sakura's engagement party, he finds himself in his office behind his desk. As the Executive Producer and Head Designer of Daidouji Toy Company, it's not surprising why his desk's over heaped with various brown/manila folders consisting of newly-designed toys, re-designed toys and futuristic toy designs paperwork regarding the toys' statistics various unfinished drawings, loads of notebooks about his future planning and important meetings he has to set up with.  
  
That's the active life of Kinomoto Touya.  
  
He slumps in his chair behind the desk and stares blankly at the work in front of him.  
On his way to his office he hasn't met anyone that works on his floor. His colleagues had probably been mad when Daidouji-sama had given him a day off today. That explains why the work on his desk has looked so much. They always dump their work on his desk, whenever they aren't happy with the decisions their boss had taken regarding him.  
Daidouji-sama, his boss, is in fact a relative from his mother's side of the family. It's no wonder why the colleagues on his floor don't like him that much.  
  
Touya didn't care what they really thought of him as long as he had work to do. He hasn't complained one bit to Daidouji-sama. The extra work helps at times when he's not feeling okay, like this one.  
  
In a few minutes, Touya has thrown himself into the many unfinished works on his desk. He drowns himself in papers, black or blue ink on white sheets. Work is good for fending off the haphazard or messed up thoughts in his mind. He needs to get his head off the thought of having lost Sakura...  
  
... Fabrication problems in the toys, more flashy colors for the toys, more styles... and time flies by, going unnoticed by the overworking man, Touya.  
  
"Touya-kun? You're here? Aren't you supposed to go to Sakura-chan's engagement?"  
  
Touya looks up respectfully. His boss, Daidouji-sama, is standing in front of his office, clad in her nice dark-red suit.  
  
"Yes, Daidouji-sama. Though I'd left immediately after taking a family picture."  
  
"I understand. Why don't you go home right away? I can give you a ride-" She offers sincerely.  
  
"I'm fine, Daidouji-sama. I've still a few more pages to check." Touya gives her a long glance.  
  
"Are you sure?" She sends him a worried look... purple eyes.  
  
"Yes... Good night, Daidouji-sama" He bows curtly in respect.  
  
"...Good night, Touya-kun. Make sure you don't overwork yourself, okay?" Her voice sounding so motherly towards him that it even embarrasses him.  
  
So he nods faintly.

* * *

**11:45 PM  
**  
He's decided to take the work home instead.  
  
Working alone in that office building doesn't appeal him anymore that night. Neither does his cold and lonely apartment. Without Sakura's presence, there's no warmth in his home. Nobody's waiting for him there.  
  
It seems as if someone has planned his moves- his body is moving almost naturally if it hasn't been for his death grip on the wheel. There's that little voice at the back of his mind, gesturing a fork threateningly to his brain.  
  
Just go... it whispers so seductively, a dangerous fork is raised closely towards his subconscious mind. Touya isn't new to this threat. He supposes everyone has that little voice inside their minds whether or not one could tell if it's whispering right or wrong decisions. However, unlike THE little voice, this voice threatens.  
  
_THIS_ voice always seem to appear when he's feeling down; on the day of his mother's death, his father's death... and now Sakura's engagement. The former two haven't been too appealing to hear that little voice, because there'll always be a happy, naive young Sakura by his side to keep him together. Of course, he still misses both his parents; he knows there's nothing he can do to stop them from leaving him and Sakura forever. It's inevitable.  
  
Now that Sakura's left him, he's not sure what to become of his 'bright' future.  
  
Does he have to pick up some girl? Bribe her to get married to him? Have kids with her? And spend the rest of his life together with her in all his misery till both of them have died?  
  
_These thoughts are uncalled for!  
_  
He swats those disturbing thoughts away. There's really no need to taking such drastic actions. Rationality is the key. Touya stares at the car-filled road in front of his line of view. The heavy traffic is moving slowly into one of the busiest cities of the country. He takes the left street instantly, instead of the main road to home.  
  
This is way too tempting, he muses silently to himself.  
  
_... That's right. Keep on going_, the voice encourages.

* * *

**MADAM BUTTERFLY**  
  
It's the name of the bar, which Touya has recently heard from Sakura's group of friends. It's new in business, but popular among youngsters and others nonetheless.  
The appearance of the bar's interior didn't interest him much. He just heads straight towards the counter and patiently let his eyes look over the many stalled drinks against the wall.  
  
Way too many unknown drinks.  
  
_Which one should he order without getting drunk?  
_  
"Try -Light Moon Beam-, which consists of White Wine and some secret ingredients" As if having heard his thoughts, someone answers to his unspoken question.  
  
Touya's slightly surprised and looks up at the source from where the soft, mellow voice has come from.  
  
A young bartender is casually leaning against the counter, looking expectantly at him with a courteous smile on his face, looking a bit ridiculous with those big glasses perched on the bridge of his nose.  
  
... Dark gray hair and hazel eyes...  
  
"I beg your pardon?" Touya stares deadpanned at the bartender.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I just can't help but notice how lost you seem when you looked up at the display of drinks. Assuming you're new here, the -Light Moon Beam- does seem to be a good choice in your case" the bartender says good-naturedly and let his eyes meet Touya's briefly.  
  
"Have we met before?" Touya blurts out instead, looking down at the shorter and far-too-skinny bartender with a straight face.  
  
The bartender blinks and smiles a little. "Maybe... so what's it going to be if you don't want-"  
  
"Is this beam-whatever a light drink? I don't want to be drunk while riding back home"  
  
"Sure it is. I understand"  
  
"Then may I have one drink, please"  
  
"Yes, sir" the bartender walks away as Touya turns around to look for an appropriate place to sit.  
  
Most costumers are bundled up together near the karaoke stage. A few seem to be having a small dinner date or some sorts. It's really by chance when Touya's found a good seat against one wall: that way he can observe everything and everyone better, just to get his mind off of his losses.  
  
Should he be proud of the loss?  
_Not likely.  
_  
Will he ever going to see the point of living alone without anyone nearby?  
_Also not likely...  
_There's no one who will point it out for him. His life sure is dull...  
  
Somehow a glass of something within his sight has snapped him back to reality.  
  
"Here you go" the same bartender, from a moment ago, is standing next to his seat, serving the ordered drink.  
Touya nods his thanks.  
  
"Shouldn't you get back to your post?" he didn't have to look at the bartender standing next to his seat, almost hovering behind him.  
  
"I'm just making sure if you can really take this drink, sir" the man responds neutrally.  
He takes a deliberate sip from the offered glass without hesitation.  
  
Touya looks at his drink and waits. It hasn't taken long before his throat begins to burn instantly. He swallows slowly, trying to keep away the burning and acknowledges the bartender's presence once again.  
  
"It's fine"  
  
The other is probably smiling; Touya didn't know why, but he has a hunch the bartender must be. And a glass of water is placed on Touya's table.  
  
Touya stares at the glass.  
  
"Are you the only one working here?" he wonders out loud.  
  
"No. Two waitresses and another bartender work here too, but due some unexpected circumstances they're taking nights off,"  
As if on cue more costumers enter the bar, looking around enthusiastically. They're mostly girls, probably still from High school.  
  
"_TSUKISHIRO-SAN_!!" the girls shout out in excitement and wave in greeting.  
  
"Hai!" the bartender chuckles and waves back in return. "If you'll excuse me..."  
  
Touya watches the bartender take his place behind the counter and serve the new costumers. The girls start prattling merrily to the bartender, obliviously making the boys of their group jealous. The bartender, Tsukishiro, just smiles, nods and comments in what seems -politely-, is the right word.  
  
Touya turns his attention to the karaoke corner: a small stage with a new TV set and the karaoke equipment on top. A whole group of teenagers, who did not seem to be older than just junior high students, are laughing, singing, talking or even making out in that corner. No one seems to be bothered, except Touya himself maybe.  
  
They're being too loud and too blatantly discourteous at a public place like this one. Though it's kind of relatively understanding when the bartender has his hands full with serving the drinks and listening to the enthusiastic costumers' talks at the same time.  
  
Would the boss be so harsh to leave the whole place to only one bartender for so many nights?  
  
Touya doesn't care. It's not his business.  
  
He gulps down the rest of his drink, closes his eyes and waits for the burning on his tongue to subside. The bitterness in taste is good at the moment. He can at least focus on the bitterness at the back of his tongue and look for something edible to treat his churning stomach.  
  
Touya stands up and walks a bit rigidly towards the counter, bypassing the group, which Tsukishiro has just served.  
  
"Doesn't he have the greatest smile?"  
  
"I thought you love Shinji's smile"  
  
"Of course I do. But Tsukishiro-san just has this great smile"  
  
"Oh, and don't forget about his eyes. They're so big warm and genuine. It gives me the flutters in my stomach"  
  
"I wonder why he wears those big glasses. I really believe if he discards them he'll be the hunk of the week"  
  
"By the way, have you guys heard?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Tsukishiro-san has already twenty something girls asking him for a considerable date in one week?"  
  
"Are you sure? I thought he had more admirers"  
  
"Of course he has. Those girls are just simply too shy to approach him"  
  
"So what's the big secret?"  
  
"He has turned them down. All of them..."  
  
Touya shakes his head absently and takes out his wallet to pay for the drink.  
  
Those girls remind him of his own time back in high school. He's gotten several approaches from the girls, trying to befriend him and... What's become of it?  
  
_Nothing_, he supposes.  
  
His mind had been too set on his studies and the welfare of his younger sister. So he hadn't gotten deluded by their obvious attraction towards him.  
  
"Thank you for coming, sir. I hope to see you soon" Tsukishiro smiles politely.  
  
Touya nods once and heads for the exit. The night looks so young from his side of the city. With the moon painted in the sky and surrounded by dancing stars...  
  
As soon as he's entered his apartment, he doesn't bother flicking the lights on. After taking off his shoes, he dumps his unfinished work on the kitchen counter and makes his way to the small veranda.  
  
The goddess of the wind coaxes him gently, whispering some unknown spell in his ears.  
  
He leans over the railing on his elbows and looks at the busy city lights. He feels alone...  
  
**XXX  
**  
The next night he finds himself back in Madam Butterfly, drinking 2 glasses of -Light Moon Beam-. He isn't addicted, that's for sure. So why is he there again?  
  
The aura, which he's felt inside the bar, has been soothing in a way. _Melancholic._  
Touya begins to like the dark loneliness in the shadows of Madam Butterfly. Not really the right kind of feeling one can associate with such a popular bar. Perhaps it's the name Madam Butterfly had been lonely after her husband had left her

* * *

_# As she sits there, embracing herself under the moonlight -with her pale face turn to the silver moon-, she looks so young and resembles a fragile, porcelain doll.  
  
Her body starts shaking unexpectedly and her red lips move -whispering something incoherently-  
  
She's waited to so long, so alone. Her eyes shut themselves and two teardrops roll down along her pale, alabaster cheeks.  
  
The night is cold and lonely #  
_  
**END Chapter 1**  
  
**Terms:  
  
Onii-chan -- Big brother affectionately  
Gaki -- Brat **  
  
**End notes:  
**  
- This story is first started from Yukito's POV, but then at that time I'd been reading too many Touya POVs that I got engrossed by the idea of playing Touya a bit.  
- This is an Alternative Universe story so there are some slight Out of Character features in the CCS cast.  
- And the last part is actually a bit about my view of Madam Butterfly A literature character  
- I know this whole thing sounds a bit farfetched but at least I'm posting for once probably a completed story about 8 chapters  
- There are a lot of time gaps so if anything is confusing just e-mail me or something. XD I won't bite.  
- This story also has a sequel, but that one will be posted later.  
  
**:smiley face:cin**  
  
Edit: replaced the typos. Sorry for the inconvenience. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Poison  
**Author:** Nekocin  
**Warnings:** OoC possible on Touya's part, scenes aren't of chronological order, not really an OC. but an OC from Yuugioh.  
**Pairings:** none, implied SS  
**Rated:** PG13  
**Additional notes:** this is going to have weird twists of scenes.  
**Disclaimer:** the character Kaiba doesn't belong to me. I'm just using him for a bit in this story.  
**_  
... - Flashback  
_XXX - not so important scene change_  
_**  
**Chapter 2: Melancholic  
**  
The first thing that woke him up is the alarm tugging his chest. There's something wrong.  
For some reasons unknown he feels as if he has been in a coma for a long time, which doesn't make sense -because he knows he's not. And at the same time his head is hurting slightly. An arm runs carefully across the soft mattress on which he's found himself lying upon.  
  
This is not his bed... his own sheets are slightly wrinkled because he hasn't had the time to do the laundry - this one's straightened.  
  
_What's going on?  
_  
He turns his body slowly to lie on one side and starts fingering with the pillows on which his head is lying. He breathes in the lingering scent slightly and stops in mid-breath. This is definitely not his bed. The scent tastes almost sweet in the air.  
  
He immediately pushes himself in a sitting position. But he isn't prepared for the immediate pounding in his head. He groans out while unconsciously cradling his head. Thousands of sledgehammers are slamming down on head at the moment, flattening it almost literally.  
  
_What had happened last night?_ His head hurts.  
  
"Swallow this" an out-of-nowhere hand pops something what seems like a painkiller into his mouth. An immediate glass of water is near his dry lips. He doesn't quite get the part from where this illusion has come from. He hasn't grown another pair of extra arms, has he? It makes no sense while is headaches.  
  
He simply gulps down the water, almost greedily.  
  
"Take it easy, take it easy" someone says faintly to him as he feels the gentle rubs on his back.  
  
"My head..." he groans involuntarily and closes his eyes briefly. It hasn't taken long before the pounding on his head has subsided. Touya lets out a relieved breath and tries to collect his thoughts.  
  
"What's happened?"  
  
"Last night you've gotten quite a lot of admirers who buy you drinks. Unfortunately, those drinks were far stronger than your usual order. I'd found you passed out on your table when I needed to close up"  
  
Touya blinks. That voice... the _BARTENDER?_  
  
His head whips up and he stares at the casually dressed guy from the bar. Tsukishiro is sitting on a chair next to the bed, holding a glass as he looks concerned at him.  
  
"**You**!"  
  
Tsukishiro looks a bit startled, but smiles continuously. "Apparently, you're quite surprised seeing me here"  
  
Touya shakes himself out of his stupor and easily slides on his serious poker face.  
  
"Where am I?" he takes his opportunity to look around. A built-in closet in the far wall, and two night tables are noticeable in the room. The rest of the bedroom looks so bare.  
  
"My apartment. I know it's not much. I hadn't enough time to decorate the interior these last few days"  
  
The room looks kind of familiar. Touya nods slightly and absently looked down at his wristwatch. 11:30 AM?!  
He lets out an immediate gasp.  
  
"I've got to go to work!" Pushing the heavy duvets aside, Touya climbs out of the bed and frantically searches his pockets with both hands. Tsukishiro stays at a distant when Touya has pushed himself off the bed.  
  
"Are you sure? I believe you need to take a break. Sleeping the headache off is much better than overworking yourself"  
  
"I've a lot of work to do at the office and-"  
  
"I insist, there's no harm in resting while you're feeling unwell"  
  
"I can't. I've to work. It's the only thing what's left for me to live for"  
  
"I have no any idea what you're trying to say, but-"  
  
"Do you know the way to Daidouji's Toy Company?"  
  
Tsukishiro sighs. "You'll wither like flowers if you keep this up, do you know that?"  
Touya blinks.  
  
Tsukishiro holds the empty glass closely and stands up. "Daidouji's Toy Company is three blocks away if you take the main street. If you're looking for your wallet, it's on the night table next to the bed"  
And Tsukishiro walks out of the bedroom.  
  
Touya grabs his wallet, checks the content rapidly and seemingly satisfied, he stuffs it in his trench coat's pockets. Tsukishiro hadn't taken the time to undress him, before tucking him into bed last night. Now his clothes look all wrinkled.  
  
_Wait a minute-  
_  
_3 blocks away if one takes the main street?  
_  
That's his usual route to work. At this hour traffic would be heavy, he'll lose another twenty minutes or more to that. Daidouji-sama will not be happy with him being late. He starts pacing around in the room, his bare feet muffled by the thick carpet on the floor.  
  
_What's he going to do?  
_  
"Do you have a phone around here?"  
  
"Yes, it's right inside the first drawer" Tsukishiro reappears and heads for the night table next to the bed. Touya raises an eyebrow when Tsukishiro takes out the phone.  
  
_What's a telephone doing inside the night table for?  
_  
"May I-?"  
  
"Yes, you may. Just don't ask why the phone's there" Tsukishiro cuts him off, smiling both politely and embarrassed at him, and passes him the telephone.  
  
Touya wordlessly stares at him, nods once and tucks the phone near his ear.  
It hasn't taken long before Daidouji-sama starts lecturing him about getting to work on time if not, just call her why he couldn't be present. But as soon as she gets word of him having a hangover, she starts demanding him to stay at home for the time being.  
  
After the long, suffering lecture Touya bids her good day, not before promising he'll get some sleep, and hangs up. He stares at the phone for a moment and then remembers again whose room he's invading.  
  
He turns to look at Tsukishiro, who's been hovering silently and almost worriedly behind him, standing near the end of the bed. Tsukishiro looks back at him with those concerned eyes...  
  
"Thank you for letting me use your phone" Touya bows slightly, speaking softly and unsure.  
  
"It's no problem. Uhm... do you want something to eat? Eggs? Bread? Pancakes?" Tsukishiro offers immediately, smiling yet again.  
Though for some reason, Touya thinks the smile is a bit distant and sad.  
  
What's he trying to accomplish by smiling like that at him? Had something happened last night?  
  
"No, thank you. I'll take my leave now. I apologize for intruding in your home. Thank you" Touya says curtly. He makes his way out of the bedroom, into the living room, towards the front door, slowly but firmly. This may be quite impolite in Touya's opinion, but there isn't much he can do to help himself out of this unexpected situation.  
"Have a nice day, Tsukishiro-san"  
  
He's just about to grab the handle of the front door, when he feels a light tug on the hem of his coat's left sleeve. Touya looks over his shoulder, slightly surprised, at the bartender's pale hand gripping his sleeve. Hazel eyes behind a pair of glasses look sympathetically at him.  
  
"You can come to me if you need anything, Kinomoto-san" Tsukishiro smiles softly and lets go.  
  
Touya frowns. What's Tsukishiro trying to say? He doesn't quite know how to respond, but somehow... the little voice encourages him to say something nice in return. Besides it's only fair, right?  
  
"It's only fair if this is reversed, Tsukishiro-san. But I'll think about it" he says truthfully, knowing fully well that it's come way too lame from his mouth. He suddenly sounds like a teenager making some nonsense promise.  
  
But, Tsukishiro is a teenager himself he's overheard that fact from recent conversations among the costumers... not that he really cares, so maybe it's okay to say things like this.  
  
Tsukishiro's smile widens as if Touya's done him a great favor.  
  
"Have a nice day, Kinomoto-san"  
  
Touya nods, feeling a bit unsure and turns round to open the front door, taking his leave. As he walks down the halls, passing a few decoration plants that are nearby every door he's seen so far in his line of view, he has suddenly noticed again that the place looks familiar.  
  
...  
  
"This is..."  
  
No doubt this hall is very familiar.  
  
Tsukishiro's apartment is in the same building as his. **_Eh?!_**

* * *

_He slumps over the counter, murmuring incoherently and takes no notice when the bartender is standing in front of him, behind the counter, looking worried.  
  
"Are you all right, Kinomoto-san? You shouldn't drink stuff which your system cannot handle"  
  
"Mmhmm..." he mutters and pulls his head up with a lot of effort. His eyes look blearily up at the bartender.  
  
"I think you had enough for tonight. I'll get you some painkillers and water, okay?" the bartender reaches for the half-empty glasses next to the man, intending to keep the rest of the drinks away from his costumer.  
  
A tanned hand suddenly shoots forward and grabs the bartender's slender wrist. The bartender gasps in surprise, tenses for a moment and relaxes. The grip isn't even painful.  
  
"Don't leave! It's lonely when I don't have anyone to live for anymore" his costumer slurs out almost desperately.  
  
"W-what are you saying, sir?" the bartender stammers, looking almost frightened at his costumer. The costumer's system is way too complex to have heavy alcohol penetrate his walls. Even if he has just come for the Light Moon Beam drink, his costumer has been so... complex, interesting and quite lonely.  
  
It won't take long for the heavy, alcoholic drinks, which his other costumers had treated this client 'generously', start to kick in then...  
  
He has no idea what kind of drunk this costumer would be. Would he be an angry drunk? A violent drunk? A crying drunk? A silly drunk?...  
  
His client looks down, drunkenly, at his other hand, which is shivering uncontrollably.  
  
"Everyone has left me. First 'kaa-san, then 'tou-san and now-"_

* * *

Touya doesn't remember what has happened the other night. But he's an idea that he's drunk himself almost to death.  
  
He's heard about drunks doing drastic actions before. So he wonders...  
Had he done something quite out of character?  
  
Had he become some raving lunatic, who finds it unfair that the world of growing up way too soon is cruel?  
  
And worse, had he done something to the bartender?  
  
Had he used violence to venture his growing anger on the poor teenager, who's just trying to save up money for his studies?  
  
He shakes his head lightly, banishing these disturbing thoughts.  
  
After reaching to his apartment, which is several floors above Tsukishiro's floor, Touya has gone straight to bed like he's promised Daidouji-sama.  
He pulls the covers over his shoulder, presses his head closer into his pillows and unconsciously breathes in his own unique, lingering scent.  
  
His own scent is like the warm sun, bathed with colorful fragrances; the scent of his soap and a bit of salty perspiration... unlike Tsukishiro's pillows, which holds the smell of the lingering autumn breeze -with peach perhaps.  
  
_-Never mind-  
_  
He's not sure why he's thinking about the other's pillows.  
Maybe it's because of the solitary peace he's found while lying on them even if for a moment...

* * *

**4:30 AM  
**  
Early in the morning, Touya has found himself awake and that isn't thanks to his alarm clock. He's just woken up by chance.  
  
He prepares himself for work; dressing the required suits, gathering the manila folders in his briefcase and quickly eating some pancakes, he's cooked, as breakfast.  
  
Driving his way to work will go relatively smooth, because almost half of the working population in the city is still either sleeping or preparing themselves for work.  
Touya has decided to take the underground train instead.  
  
**XXX**  
  
"Good morning"  
  
He nods to the guards behind the counter at the main hall and heads for the elevators' side.  
  
The main hall is very quiet without the usual murmurings of his colleagues conversing to each other in the mornings, he notes. Getting up this early is rare, but not unpleasant; he finds it peaceful to come this early... somehow... and he's not even a morning person.  
  
His train ride has been smooth too; he hasn't been squished between a lots of bodies...  
  
Touya reaches his office. Immediately, he pulls out his folders, starts up his laptop and resumes his work on unfinished projects... in a much slower pace than usual.  
  
At some time he checks his schedule briefly.  
  
**9:00** - he'll have a meeting with a certain KC game company's CEO from Domino city. Since Daidouji-sama is busy with her own schedule, she's requested him to represent Daidouji's Toy Company at the meeting with KC's CEO, Mr. Kaiba.  
  
**12:00** - he's to post most of his new project to Daidouji-sama for some critics whether or not his designs will be accepted.  
  
**13:00 - 14:00** - he's permitted to lunch away.  
  
Maybe he could take his time to buy an organizer in that one hour too. Who knows how much he really needs one, considering the fact that most of his works are in a disorganized pile of papers on his desk... especially when his agenda looks so messy with the postponed meetings and to-do orders scribbled down here and there, hastily.  
  
**15:00** - he has to update most of Daidouji Toy Company website on news about recent new products.  
  
Why hasn't his colleagues gotten that right to change the web pages' layouts and graphics? He has hardly the time to be creative with the Daidouji Toy Company's homepage-  
  
_UGH! He needs a drink.  
_Not the Light Moon Beam or anything related to alcohol.  
No.  
A cup of coffee will keep him working like an athlete, who has a high stamina, using a lot of energy. He really needs to lay off that drink...  
  
... there's a little side note at the end of the schedule page.  
  
**8:00 AM** - he's to call Sakura. He's to call her because Sakura has wanted to tell him something important.  
  
Touya wonders absently if she's having problems already.  
_Never mind_... he really shouldn't dwell on that. Maybe he shouldn't heed that to-do one...  
  
He re-checks if he has the intended meeting papers and files, and impatiently looks at laptop's screen time.  
  
It's almost time. Just a few minutes and he'll call his younger sister.  
  
His chest hurts whenever he thinks about having lost her. He's not sure when he's ever felt this anxious before.  
Had she lost something? Had she forgotten something at their once-known house? Had she been hurt? If she had been hurt, he would really kill that -bastard- Did she have something important to say? - His worries have suddenly been released, once again.  
  
His heart is already getting panic attacks. But the attacks, however, couldn't be compared to the one he has gotten when his office phone rang; his heart has increased its pace tenfold!  
  
Touya lets out the strained breath he's been holding and picks up the phone, after collecting his haphazard thoughts again.  
  
...the call is probably about the toys shipments taxes...  
"Daidouji Toy Company. Kinomoto speaking" he greets automatically.  
  
"_Onii-chan_!" the one word that has instantly sent his thoughts astray. The pain in his chest has spread out in full blast.  
  
Touya grits his teeth silently.  
  
"Sakura, I thought-"  
  
"Yes, I know. I've just been waiting too anxiously for your call" Sakura's response has come out immediately, enthusiastically even.  
  
"... So, what is it you want me to call for?"  
  
"I've been trying to call you since last week. But no one was home. Where have you been by the way? You're not overworking yourself, have you?"  
  
_Since last week?  
_  
He doesn't recall having gotten any calls from her... or maybe he's been away from home, way too much that he's forgotten to check his answering machine.  
  
Touya doesn't want to tell her that. He doesn't want to tell her about his whereabouts at night either.  
  
"..."  
  
"Never mind. I'm glad aunt has given you my request to call me" Fortunately, Sakura has misunderstood the silence coming from his side.  
  
"Why do you want me to call for?" he repeated his question.  
  
"Oh! Ne onii-chan, you've left our engagement party so abruptly that I forgot to tell you something very, very important. The wedding will be on the first week of the next month. Syaoran and I have agreed to do both Japanese and Chinese style, so don't be surprised when we hold 2 wedding ceremonies" Sakura prattles on excitedly through the phone, never knowing how much those words are capable of piercing him through the chest, cruelly.  
  
"Please come to our wedding... We've ordered a lot of food and cakes for the wedding party-" So she remembers how many times they had fought over food, any food for that matter, in the past. Especially cake.  
"-so please come. You can bring your friends along too if you want, we won't mind-"  
Now she sounds sad and hopeful altogether. What else can he do? He doesn't want Sakura to worry about him too.  
  
He doesn't want anyone to worry about him.  
  
"Are you sure all that cake is enough, kaijuu? Next month is the beginning of summer. I guess all monsters need to eat a lot too when it's hot. Be sure to buy extra, because you'll never know if you'll want more too" he cuts in smoothly instead and permits himself to smirk.  
  
That will get her mind off her worrying over him. Really. Sometimes he wonders if all this worrying has come from him. He's, after all, been the one who took care of her, when she's been a toddler; he's been the one who's always worrying about her health, her environment... even her love life.  
  
Touya hears some grumbling, which is followed by an ear-piercing "I'm not a Monster!" shout. He's immediately pulled the horn away from his ear as his smirk widens.  
  
The old trick still works on her, even after all these years.  
  
"I'll think about it" he answers neutrally and hangs up, after hearing the soft, confused "Hoe?" from his sister.  
  
_...The wedding is next month... that's 2 weeks away.  
_  
Must he go? Or will he just decline the invitation? It is, after all, Sakura's wedding; she's going to expect his presence.  
  
After that day, she'll be Li's wife; she'll be happy-  
  
_but will he be happy to accept, knowing that her happiness resolves around her husband?_

* * *

_He's drinking his second glass of Light Moon Beam, while munching on apiece of strawberry shortcake. It's a bit unusual to find something sweet to eat... surprisingly even that Madam Butterfly has these sorts of treats.  
  
This bar is more than just a bar for people who want to drink something for a change, or who want to have fun.  
  
The utter loneliness, which he feels these last few nights, will be lovingly coaxed by the sweetness of the cake... and the bitterness in his drink.  
  
Life's full of dull and yet excited nights.  
  
The regular karaoke goers are relatively tolerable as soon as he's gotten accustomed to their teenagers' clicks. They're still young and full of life.  
  
Who is he to spoil their fun?  
He himself had been a teenager once too, but only without any real friends, who wanted him to have fun and loosen up a bit even if for just one night.  
  
It's kind of nice to watch them goof around with their karaoke songs.  
  
"Hai, here you go, Kinomoto-san"  
  
He turns to look at the three glasses filled with cognac in front of him and then at the smiling, polite bartender.  
  
"For me?"  
  
"Courtesy from the -Ladies in Red- in the east corner" the bartender gestures lightly to the said corner. Indeed there are three ladies in red there. They smile sweetly at Touya and hold up their drinks in acknowledgment.  
  
He looks at them neutrally and turns his attention back to the glasses in front of him.  
  
"Ah, I see you've beaten me in popularity, sir" the bartender jokes lightly, chuckling earnestly, and places more glasses filled with unknown alcoholic drinks next to the other three extras glasses.  
  
"You don't have to drink them all if you cannot handle them"  
  
"Where have these come from?" Touya mutters absently, almost glaring at the drinks.  
  
"Courtesies from most of my costumers I'm afraid" the bartender starts wiping the glasses he's just washed. He looks amused when Touya looks at a loss at the drinks in front of him.  
  
"They usually seek companionship in someone who's on the same boat like they are" the bartender comments unnecessarily and puts away the glasses.  
At last, he walks away to serve another costumer and has forgotten about the guy, who's gotten a lot of free drinks for the moment.  
  
**XXX  
**  
"Everyone has left me. First 'kaa-san, then 'tou-san and now... my imouto-chan. You know, I've protected her ever since 'kaa-san's death. Sakura, my imouto-chan, had been under my care for quite a long time and she's about to get married to some big-shot guy. It's not like I don't want that guy to be my in-law, it's just... Sakura and I will drift apart once she marries. I don't want to let her go just yet. She's my sister. If she leaves, I have no one left. I've no one to live for" he starts babbling, slurring his words slightly as he looks sadly at his other tanned hand on his lap.  
  
"Maybe there's this special person for you elsewhere too" Tsukishiro murmurs softly and places a comforting hand on top of the hand holding his wrist.  
  
_**END Chapter 2  
**  
**Terms:  
**  
**'kaa-san -- mother  
'tou-san -- father  
imouto-chan -- little sister  
hoe -- Sakura's famous sound whenever she's confused, flustered or surprised.  
  
Endnotes:  
**  
- I like to thank those who'd left their comments in their reviews. **hugs 3 :muchos love to you all:**  
- I know I'm late for the update. I've been lazy when it comes to typing actual chapters down while my notebook looks so... ugly with the various adding and stripes.  
- I'd wanted to send this chapter on my birthday, but since I've been busy with another story, got delayed by the computer it froze several times and all, I've to postpone the typing several times.  
  
**:smiley face:cin**


	3. Chapter 3

**Poison  
Author:** Nekocin  
**Genres: **Drama/Romance/General  
**Warnings:** major OoC, Kaiba, possibly cliché, some unsuitable scenes **:sweatdrops:** nameless OCs that have no big part in this story.  
**Pairings: **mainly TouyaYukito, other **(implied)** pairings like SakuraSyaoran  
**Rated:** PG13 -- R, **R** in this chapter.  
**Disclaimer:** CCS doesn't belong to me. The character Kaiba comes from Yuugioh; he also doesn't belong to me. Only this fic belongs to me.  
**Author's notes: **I couldn't decide whether to post this chapter or re-write it since I didn't like it much but since the story already has an end, it wouldn't be something without this chapter. **:sulks:** But in the mean time at least Touya isn't really _THAT_ melancholic in this chapter **:smiles:**

Chapter 3: Mesmeric  
  
_"Maybe there's this special person for you elsewhere too"  
_  
"...special person...?" Touya wonders out loud and blinks at the papers on the desk.  
Who's said that? He cannot recall having met that someone who has told him something about his special person. Those words have just surfaced out of nowhere.

"I beg your pardon?" Mr. Kaiba regards him coolly with a pair of calm blue eyes.  
Their meeting has just started. Mr. Kaiba has set his conditions on paper in a folder, which Touya is reading at the moment.

"Nothing" Touya responds immediately and continues reading the next few conditions -about certain game characters in toy form.

"You said -special person-" Mr. Kaiba points out, but doesn't look as if he's interested to know why Touya isn't concentrating on their meeting.

"Are KC's terms clear?"

"Are Daidouji-sama's terms clear too?" Touya counters.

Mr. Kaiba nods once.

"Then it's a deal! We'll make the toys, you send in the figures and the profits will be 40 percent to our side and 60 percent yours. After all, you are the actual copyrighter" **1** Touya concludes diplomatically, closes the folder and stands up to shake hands with Mr. Kaiba.

The CEO nods, and clasps the other's hand. The deal is made. They sign their contracts.

"Sometimes this special person is the one you the least suspect of liking more" Mr. Kaiba suddenly comments and dramatically takes his leave, his trench coat billowing behind him.

Touya can only blink at the CEO's back without responding to Mr. Kaiba's comment. Mr. Kaiba is a strange man. But for some reason, he likes the guy's diplomatic attitude. The CEO reminds him of himself... some time ago...

* * *

_"Sometimes this special person is the one you the least suspect of liking more"  
_  
Touya frowns when those words suddenly pop up in his mind. He stares at the glass of -Light Moon Beam-.

He's gone to Madam Butterfly again that night on foot, taking residence on the bar stool at the far corner of the counter, where he could watch anyone step in and out of the bar. From his side, he could also watch the bartender, Tsukishiro, pick out glasses, bottles and ice from under the bar counter.

Touya takes a quick sip from his glass and stares at the drink again, watching the bubbles float towards the surface.

"Excuse me, Kinomoto-san" Tsukishiro smiles lightly in greeting and puts a small plate with a piece of cake, next to the glass of -Light Moon Beam-.

"Can you wait for me after closing time? I want to give you something"

Touya raises an inquiring eyebrow. He finds it a bit... strange to hear the bartender step to him for a request like that.

"Please" The hazel eyes almost look pleadingly at him, thanks to the dimmed effects the fluorescents emit.

Touya hesitates.

"... sure" He finds himself saying, while he looks away.

Tsukishiro smiles automatically. "Thank you"

The bartender walks away to take the other costumer's orders, leaving Touya to wonder why he is needed.

Touya munches on his piece of cake absently, as his gaze flickers to the narrow back of the bartender, thoughtfully.

* * *

**2  
**  
Touya is standing outside of the bar, leaning against the wall where the shadows roam -where the streetlights didn't reach its full potential to light up the neighborhood. He is waiting for the bartender to close the place up for the night.

"I'm sorry I'm late. I-" a far away voice reaches his ears and he looks around expectantly.

That's probably Tsukishiro, but-

"It doesn't matter. This waiting is worth it"  
He hears another voice, slightly deeper... he peers into the shadows of the alley, cautiously.

Two silhouettes are standing at the very end of the alley from Touya's side of the view. He cannot make out what they look like, but he knows that both of them must be from one or two of those teenagers' groups which have visited the bar tonight.

He steers his attention back to the corner, hoping to see Tsukishiro rounding it to make his presence known. Teenagers these days just have the strangest lines.

A muffled thud, from the alley further in, has surprised him.

"What - are you trying - to accomplish -?" The voice sounds strained and a bit... breathless.

"Don't you see? - You've been away - from me for god-knows - how long - " Even more breathless

"Just 4 days" A retort.

"It feels like _forever_. Don't you miss me?" A happy sigh.

"... Yes... but-" Some stammering.

"Hush - No more talking - I've missed you - "

Touya can pick up just a few pieces of their conversation. He doesn't quite know what the two conversationalists are at, but he figures it is one of those dramatic scenes. The way, in which the conversation is brought out, is strained, breathlessly -a bit too forward.

The soft cries in the alley have made Touya look back at the two silhouettes.

What in the world- he stops wondering and blinks in horror. He feels the color in his face drain.

There's no doubt what those two teenagers are doing in the middle of the filthy alley even.

One taller silhouette has the shorter one pinned against the wall and is -in what seems to Touya- ravishing the other almost cross-eyed -referring to the uncontrollable cries and sighs the shorter one seems to let out.

Touya swallows nervously as he tries to pull his attention from those two.  
It's private after all. It's inappropriate. It's none of his business.

But... Why does it seem like he's transfixed?

"... your body is beautiful just like in my dreams-"

"R-Really? Nnngh..."

"Do you know - how long I've - waited to - have you under - me?"

"... please don't say things like that"

"You've no idea - what you've been missing, ne?-"

Touya doesn't know what to do as he feels himself blushing. Really, this is a rare opportunity to blush. Ugh! He feels like a peeping Tom... ugh! He is one right now!  
He forces himself to move and shakily runs round the corner as cries of pleasure, grunts of pain and breathless conversations follow him.

That's not the world he has imagined for the teenagers these days. That's definitely not something he wants to experience again.

Before he can try regaining his composure, he finds himself slamming into someone shorter. It's Tsukishiro, who has just closed the bar.

The bartender cries out in surprise and stumbles backwards from the impact. Luckily, the door has broken his fall considerably.

"I'm sorry" Touya hastily mutters and helps the slightly shaken Tsukishiro stand up, away from the door.

"It's okay. I'm all right" Tsukishiro smiles, looking a bit embarrassed at Touya.

"You don't look so well. Did something happen?"

Touya pulls Tsukishiro away from standing in front of the closed bar, quickly hiding his blushing face.

"Yeah... something unexpected" He stuffs his hands in his coat's pockets and walks a bit awkwardly down the lane with Tsukishiro by his side.

The bartender chuckles lightly. "You've discovered something unpleasant in the alley, didn't you?"

"Which is none of my business" Touya glares at an unseen enemy somewhere up front. "How did you know?"

"I ran into them a couple nights before, because I'd heard some strange noises. I'd thought a half-dead cat was crying there, or maybe a wounded dog. I think I'd never been shocked in my life before walking in on them" Tsukishiro explains uneasily, chuckling nervously as he looks up at his companion.

Touya didn't look back, when he feels the other's eyes boring through his skill. Maybe it is out of habit that he ignores sharp looks or glances he gets from others. Tsukishiro's curious gaze is also one of them.

"Ah! Almost forgot. Here! Your shoes. You have forgotten them after your hangover" Tsukishiro's voice cuts through the silence between them, and hands Touya a bag.

"I've been wondering where they were," Touya mutters, looking into the bag, curiously.

"Thank you" Touya tries to sound polite and grateful. He probably didn't succeed...

"You're welcome..." Tsukishiro pauses. "There's also something I want give you at home. I didn't think it's a good idea to bring it to work so I've left it in the refrigerator. I hope you won't mind coming up to my apartment"

There's a hopeful smile on Tsukishiro's face... almost too hopeful, perhaps.

Touya hesitates whether he should go along or not; maybe it's something he has forgotten that day?  
But why would that something have to be in the fridge?

"...sure"

In his teenaged years, he'd never really been invited so forwardly before, girls liked to stammer while the boys scoffed him of his existence.

So maybe it is time for him to really get associated with people -but, hasn't he been a bit down after Sakura's gone to live with her fiancé in their new house?  
What can he accomplish by merely picking something up from a friendly bartender, who doesn't seem to have any worries in the world?

"... doing?" the soft mellow tone snaps him back to the reality.

"I'm sorry. You were saying?"

Sympathetic eyes look up at him and the bartender smiles sadly at him, almost apologetically too. "I asked how your sister is doing"

Touya stops walking and looks down at the littered lane. How did he know that he has a sister?

Hearing no response, Tsukishiro immediately faces the other and bows. "I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have asked. I didn't mean to bring that up intentionally"

Touya sighs and has suddenly found the feeling exciting to tell Tsukishiro about his sister's well being. Sakura is, after all, really happy.

"No... it's all right. My sister is doing very well. Thank you for asking" Touya murmurs softly. He manages to form a small smile on his lips. "I've received a call from her this morning"

"Really? Was it a surprise?" Tsukishiro wonders innocently, looking eagerly. He watches Touya's tanned face soften as an unconscious smile touch the other's lips.

"Yes, it was. She has informed me about the wedding date"

Tsukishiro finds himself widening his eyes in worry. Kinomoto had probably not handled the call well.

"What? Don't look at me like that. It's okay. She has invited me to come to the wedding party" Touya drops his eyes, side steps the shorter Tsukishiro, and walks him past, barely brushing the other's shoulders.

The quick cover up has surprised Tsukishiro. He looks over his shoulder at Kinomoto's back. He had not taken it well.  
Maybe he could do something about Kinomoto's seemingly empty life.

Tsukishiro turns on his heels, runs after Kinomoto and tries to catch up with the other's pace.

"You really do love her, don't you Kinomoto-san" Tsukishiro looks up at Touya, not really expecting a confirmation since it's so obvious.

"I'm sure she loves you too. But you can't keep her for yourself forever. She needs to make her own choices and become independent" The bartender tries gently.

"Did you think I don't know that? I-" Touya stops in mid-sentence and lets the words die in his throat. He doesn't want anyone to take a peek of his most private thoughts, especially not a stranger like Tsukishiro. It's just not comfortable.

Tsukishiro waits for Touya to continue. However, Touya did not resume his previous thoughts.

"I don't have any siblings so I can't think myself in your shoes" The bartender says carefully.

"But I do understand the loss. The way in which you reacted towards something important like marriages, reminds me of how parents react when they know the wedding day of their child is nearing. It's just inevitable"

Touya chooses not to comment on that as he continues his way up the crossing bridge above the busy streets, with Tsukishiro walking nearby.

"I would like to meet you sister some day" Tsukishiro looks up briefly at the tanned face. He smiles in relief; Kinomoto doesn't seem to be offended, he's just smiled thoughtfully.

The rest of their way, both of them remain silent while walking next to each other. It's surprising how at ease they suddenly feel with each other's presences. Perhaps it's because of the short conversation.

Tsukishiro seems to understand his situation even if a little. He feels a bit okay, after the heart-to-heart conversation about Sakura.

And the night's so bright tonight.

* * *

"Come on in, Kinomoto-san. Clow and the others aren't home yet, so they probably won't mind you coming in" Tsukishiro takes off his shoes at the genkan and slips on a pair of slippers. He picks out another pair of slippers for Kinomoto, the one with the tiger heads.

"Who?" Touya wonders curiously as he slips on the pair of slippers Tsukishiro has given him.

"Clow, Akizuki-san, Mizuki-san, Spinel-san and Keroberos-san. They're relatively the only people I can call family" Tsukishiro explains and heads into the kitchen.

Touya doesn't know what to say about this little information, so he chooses not to comment. He watches, silently, Tsukishiro taking a big rectangular white box out of the refrigerator and turning round with a smile on his face.

"Clow thought it's a good idea so I'd made this for you"  
Tsukishiro, shyly, drops his glance and looks at the box, which he places on the kitchen counter.

"Both Akizuki-san and Mizuki-san had said that this is good for cheering someone up" Tsukishiro explains, still not looking up at the taller Touya.

Touya is struck speechless for a moment. Tsukishiro had made something to cheer him up?

"I had to hide it from both Spinel-san and Keroberos-san or else it wouldn't have survived up till now-" Tsukishiro chuckles nervously and start fidgeting with his sleeves.

"Thank you... I- I appreciate your concern" Touya cuts in immediately, making the bartender look up. What else is he actually supposed to say?

"...You really don't have to do this, Tsukishiro-san" Touya almost stumbles in his words as his eyes meet the bartender's.  
The hazel eyes brighten even more at those words.

"It's okay. I'd fun trying this out several times" Tsukishiro smiles mildly. "I like food, so it's the only thing I can think of how to cheer you up"

Touya has suddenly found out why Tsukishiro is doing this. Both he and Tsukishiro are not far from another when it comes to feeling down... even if he hasn't really noticed the other's own pain.  
Touya has lost his family in some circumstances; while Tsukishiro has no real family even if he lives among a group of people he calls family.

_...Loneliness... _they have loneliness in common... somehow... but there's still a big gap of how different their worlds were, compared to each other.

The gap between them is only filled slightly when either of them is completely at ease with each other which they are at the moment.  
And the unexpected present is like the first step of meeting up with someone, who looks like he's never really gotten close to anyone other than his family.

"Thank you. I'm sure Sakura, my sister, will love to meet you too. Both of you will probably become great friends" Touya has found himself talking soothingly to Tsukishiro.

It's then, Touya has witnessed the most genuine smile on Tsukishiro's face for the first time. The smile is silently soft, bright and so hopefully earnest.

For a moment, he feels something warm settling in his chest. It's the feeling of having done something truly great for someone else; he's contributed to the other's happiness...

* * *

After the brief revelation Touya has left for his apartment, feeling a bit excited about what he has actually gotten. He has never really gotten gifts before apart from Sakura's little gifts. Gifts that are given out of generosity. Gifts that are given just to cheer him up. He's touched by the generosity.

He knows he is supposed to find this present suspicious, because he doesn't know Tsukishiro personally; they're just... far away acquaintances, not particularly good friends. But the box just looks so tempting...

He switches on the kitchen lights and lays the box on the kitchen counter. Picking the lid up from the box, Touya takes a quick peak... and is simply surprised.

There's a whole double-layered vanilla-cream cake with juicy-looking cherries on top, inside the box.

Touya has this slight suspicion that Tsukishiro has probably doubled the cream layers on top of the cake; the upper layer just looks so voluminous...

He smiles absently at the present. It really looks delicious. He really should thank Tsukishiro properly.

"Itadakimasu"

He has gone to bed with a light chest and a satisfied smirk for the first time after Sakura has moved away. The world suddenly looks promising to him.

* * *

After that night Touya has found himself eagerly going to Madam Butterfly, not to drink the night away, but to keep Tsukishiro company. They are really not prying into each other's personal life, just merely trying to enjoy each other's company.

He could not comprehend why Tsukishiro's the only one working at the bar at night and did not like the thought of Tsukishiro walking home all alone through dangerous streets.

It's a fact that anything can happen at night. And on top of that, for a teenager, Tsukishiro looks so small that he could barely defend himself even if he has already a black belt. His advantages will be one to ten if he were to be attacked by a group gang.

As an adult, Touya has taken upon himself to keep an eye on Tsukishiro. He's probably born to keep any fragile people under his protection...

"Really, Kinomoto-san. You don't have to wait for me to close up" Tsukishiro looks up at him with his usual, big hazel eyes. With the moonlight reflecting into those eyes, they almost look transparently... silver.

"It's okay... and what have I told you about the Kinomoto-san?" Touya glares at the shorter Tsukishiro, who just ducks his head sheepishly.

"I'm sorry. I keep forgetting. Usually, I don't have problems with remembering little important stuff. I guess I'm not so good at remembering name calling"

"... I understand. I'm sorry for hammering the fact into your head. You can call me whatever you like, as long as it's appropriate" That came out uncharacteristically out of Touya's lips.

Tsukishiro shakes his head slowly and smiles again.

"Don't be. And you don't have to wait for me to close up"

"I just don't like the idea of you walking home on your own"

"I appreciate your concern but really... I can take care of myself"

"Are you sure? What if someone attacked you from behind?-"

"Touya-san-"

"What if this someone has a knife at your throat-?"

"Touya-"

"-or a gun? -"

"Touya-"

"-You're still unsupervised-"

Tsukishiro has tried in vain to get the distracted Touya to listen up. Of course, he appreciates Touya's company and concern, but it's truly exasperating to have the other fawn over him so unnecessarily.

"TO-YA!!!" Tsukishiro grabs Touya's shoulders instantly, stopping the other in mid-sentence.  
Touya's eyes look surprised at him.

"I'm... I'm sorry. I'm over-reacting"

Tsukishiro sighs wearily, but smiles again.

"You're a very kind person, To-ya. I'd never thought I would meet another person as kind as Clow, my master." Tsukishiro pulls his hands away, turns on his heels and heads into a different direction.

"Ne, let's go have some ramen"

Touya sighs, feeling a bit frustrated, as he runs his fingers through his hair and shoves his hands into his trench coat's pockets. Just great.

"... sure. I'm sorry for fawning like that. It's been a bit lonely at home these last few days, so..." He purposefully leaves the rest of the words die in his throat.

"... I'm happy you worry about me"

After that Touya has reverted back to his silent self, just walking alongside the Tsukishiro as the other starts telling him about his first night as a bartender. Tsukishiro doesn't seem to mind Touya not participating the conversation himself. Even when they're waiting patiently for their noodles, Touya has kept himself silent.

"... and then there's this time when two sportsmen fighting over a girl. One of them challenged the other with drinking sake -I guess- the other loves challenges, accepted while telling the girl that she really shouldn't be there-"

Touya looks thoughtfully at the enthusiastic narrator and leans back in his chair. He's not at all bored that is proven with a small lingering smile on his face. No one has actually been so comfortable in his presence apart from Sakura before, not even his soon-to-be brother-in-law. So what makes a total stranger like Tsukishiro any different?

"-They're actually underage -they're still in Junior High-, so I countered their challenge; they really should have taken their challenge some place else like playing some matches. Tennis matches -actually- they were carrying their tennis bags at that time." Tsukishiro continues his story, his hazel eyes glinting amusedly.

"But the girl told me they had already done that, along with playing doubles, racing and shouting matches. I had thought they were amusing so I let them have challenge in the karaoke corner. Remarkably, two hidden talents were discovered that night when they serenaded the girl. The regular karaoke girls would have loved them to pieces-!" Tsukishiro stops abruptly and smiles politely at the waitress, who brought the noodle bowls to their table.

One bowl for Touya and... three big bowls for Tsukishiro.

Touya keeps his eyes on his own bowl, politely; who knew that the bartender ate so much. But then again Tsukishiro probably hasn't been eating properly these last few nights. He seems happy with his food anyways.

"Are you free this Saturday? It's a great opportunity for you to meet my sister"

**END Chapter 3  
**  
**Terms:  
**  
**- KC** -- took this one from **Yuugioh**, so it also doesn't belong to me.  
**- 1)** Please don't go further into this one... I'm trying not to burden people with my bad construction and weird words.  
**- 2)** Erhm... **:chokes: **here is the... inappropriate scene. Fortunately. Not too explicit though  
**- genkan** -- the small place near the front door where one can take off shoes and slip into indoor slippers.  
**- Itadakimasu** -- this is said before one digs into their food. Something that looks like a prayer to me... I might be wrong.

**End notes:  
**  
**-** I want to thank those who'd reviewed the **previous** chapter:

**-- heheangel kisses: X3** I guess you're right. One of these days he'll probably worsen... but not in this story, I hope. This idea seems a bit far-fetched so... all I have to do is watch what readers might think of this strange story. Thank you for reading!

**-- Tweetspie: :blushes:** I apologize for giving you a heart-attack with the opening scenes. But thank you for reading anyways!

**-- korosu: :blushes:** I'm very flattered. I'm glad you like the story and the characterization. I was afraid I've messed up with the melancholy. The only bad thing about the story is my... bad grammar. **Grrr** I really should ask my English teacher if she wants to correct my bad grammar. Thank you for reading!

**-- Shella-chan:** Geh! More errors? I apologize for the errors and all that technicalities. English isn't my first language. I think I already have someone in mind...And oh... what exactly do you mean by heavy reading? Was it because of my lack of description? Or the heavy air 99? Or the constant switch of PoVs?  
Thank you for reading and also pointing out that there are more hidden errors I'll try to hunt most of them down!

**-- Tenshi no Hoshii: X3** Yeah, I thought the story was all right when I completed it, but I never really thought about how many people will respond to the chapters because of how dramatic Touya was being at the beginning. Yeah, I can imagine how surprised you were. Isn't that great to know your friends are living so nearby? Thank you for reading!

**- **I'm sorry for the long delay too. I didn't have enough time to type everything down and post it after the editing. But I'll try to keep up and correct all my mistakes!

**Thank you for reading!  
**  
**:smiley face:cin**


	4. Chapter 4

**Poison**  
**Author: **Nekocin  
**Genres:** Drama/Romance/General  
**Warnings:** major OoC  
**Pairings:** mainly TouyaYukito, other (implied) pairings like SakuraSyaoran  
**Rated:** PG13 -- R, **PG** here  
**Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura** doesn't belong to me. The character **Kaiba** comes from **Yuugioh**; he also doesn't belong to me. Only this fic belongs to me.

**Chapter 4: Secretive  
**  
"Are you free this Saturday?"

Tsukishiro blinks inquiringly at Touya.

"It's a great opportunity for you to meet my sister," Touya elaborates, looking hopefully from his side of the seat. He watches as Tsukishiro's hazel eyes swirl in panic for a few seconds and then pull away from staring into his own brown eyes.

"What's wrong?"

Tsukishiro drops his eyes and silently continues eating his noodles. He has remained silent as he finishes his bowl of noodles for the rest of the evening.

Confused and feeling slightly hurt, Touya retracts and finishes his own bowl.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so forward," he murmurs quietly.

"It's her wedding day?"

"Yes. You don't have to go if you don't-"

"I would love to go, but I need my master's permission,"

"Master?"

"He has to know where I'm going or else he'll turn the city upside down just to find me. Even if he doesn't really show it, Clow is just as worrisome as you are, and other than that, he's truly... kind," Tsukishiro explains quietly, glancing briefly at his hands on his lap and then meeting up with Touya's eyes.

It looks as if he's been looking at his eyes a lot of times these last few nights. Maybe it's just out of trust. It doesn't matter what it is, Touya's just glad to have someone to care about like a... friend.

For a moment he acknowledges Tsukishiro's face softening at the mention of his -master-, his eyes have flashed slightly in silver. The softness in the way he has spoken made Touya realize Tsukishiro's sharing something private with him.

Touya's touched. Tsukishiro -no, Yukito (Tsukishiro's first name) trusts him enough to share something... private.  
He rewards the other with a smile; a smile which he usually reserves for his family -especially Sakura even if she doesn't understand the meaning behind it.

"I'm sure he won't mind,"

"... maybe," Yukito sighs softly and slouches lazily in his seat. Very uncharacteristically on his part though.

Touya remains quiet, not wanting to comment about how strange Yukito looks like at the moment. His friend's jus oblivious or maybe he doesn't care about people staring funnily at him. Perhaps he's never been commented on about how... sensual he looks like when slouching.

"I still feel empty," Yukito suddenly speaks up, smiling sheepishly at his companion.

Touya frowns at him in disbelief. Three bowls can really fill someone as healthy as Yukito and _-he-_ still feels **_-empty-_**? This is probably one of those things of getting to know Yukito...

He suddenly stands up, bends over the table and pinches Yukito's cheeks playfully.

"I've still cake at home. The same you'd given me the other night," he grins and pulls away, leaving Yukito sputtering out nonsensically in shock.

Touya pays for everything, politely bidding the restaurant owners a good evening and turns to his friend, who's trying unsuccessfully to regain his composure. He chuckles lightly and pulls Yukito along their way.

"You-You _pinched_ me," Yukito accuses incredulously, rubbing one side of his cheek.

"I just couldn't resist. You're just being too cute," The tone has come out teasingly. But when hearing no response from Yukito, Touya wonders if he's gone too far. "Look. I'm sorry, Yuki. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. You can punch me or something,"

"No. That's not it, To-ya. You... never mind," Yukito sighs in defeat, blushing lightly, and drops his shoulders.  
"Yuki? You called me Yuki?" Hazel eyes immediately lit up in excitement as he tugs onto Touya's sleeve like a child.

The taller man grins in relief. "Don't you like it? I've been wondering how long it would take for you to notice my slip,"

"It's not that... I'd never gotten a nickname before, well -nice ones at least-... Yuki. I kind of like the sound of it," the last part is shyly spoken as Yukito turns his face away to hide his embarrassment.

"I'd never gotten a nickname before either, nicknames that are of my liking at least. So, are you up to some dessert at my apartment?" Touya twitches one side of his lips up in a small smile.

* * *

Touya cuts the half-eaten cake in two pieces, splits one of the pieces again and cleans off the reversed knife with a piece of paper sheet. He carefully places the big half of cake and the two smaller pieces on a big white, porcelain plate and efficiently makes his way to the living-room, where Yukito's waiting for him on the couch. 

"Here. You can eat them all if you want," Touya lays the plate on the smaller table in the middle of the room and takes a seat in a small sofa-chair.

"Thank you," Yukito smiles and places the photo frame, which he's been studying, back on the table.

_It's mother's photo...  
_  
"Your mother's beautiful,"

"... yeah. It's a fact,"

"You really miss her, don't you?"

Touya looks at his mother's photo, slowly wondering where this photo had been taken. At the beach? At the amusement park? At dad's workshop? At the zoo?  
He stops his thoughts abruptly and glances at Yukito.

The other seems to be studying his face for any sort of disturbing reaction.

Touya suddenly feels his fingers and feet itching, wanting to move. He did move unexpectedly though.  
He's jabbed a fork into one of the pieces of cake and shoves it into Yukito's mouth.

"No more questions. Just eat," He orders sternly.

It doesn't take long before Touya has fed the rest of the cake to Yukito, surprised at his casual behaviour towards the bartender. Maybe it's because of how easy going Yukito is? Perhaps.

Yukito's hazel eyes have been amused and surprised when Touya's started _-force-feeding-_ him. It's really not your every day occurrence that your friend force-feeds you. But he hasn't complained yet, he hasn't even protested against the other. Touya has been rather gentle to him through all that force-feeding.

"It's delicious,"

"You made it yourself,"

"I know. But it still tastes good after one week,"

"..." Silence.

"Tell me, To-ya, aren't you fond of cake? you haven't eaten a piece tonight,"

"I like them. But tonight I'm already full and- it's okay, you've eaten it for me,"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be eating your own cake all alone,"

"...you somehow remind me of both of my parents..."

Yukito blinks.

"...'kaa-san loves to eat cake. She can eat a whole one all by herself, you know?"

"I-I see," Yukito's face flushes, catching the imply.

"... 'tou-san is a great cook. He would always make the best dishes compared to 'kaa-san's. Especially cakes to keep the family happy...,"

They spend their time together in silence until it's time for Yukito to leave.

* * *

"Wonderful! I'm glad your work is improving," Daidouji-sama suddenly speaks up, knocking lightly on Touya's office door to announce her arrival. 

"Daidouji-sama," Touya looks up from his laptop to greet her politely. It's unusual to have Daidouji-sama entering his office in the mornings; she must be in a very good mood.

Daidouji-sama is standing with her shoulders straight and chin high in pride as she smiles knowingly at him.

"It seems like our partners are quite enchanted by your diplomacy, Touya-kun,"

"Others can do better than I,"

"Don't be so modest. Besides, your forehead is even smoother now that you're frowning lesser. Has something great happened? Have you finally fallen in love?"

An almost unconscious smile pulls at the corners of his lips. He looks at the calendar's date: **Friday, December 17th. **

"Sakura's wedding is tomorrow," He explains.

"I can't wait to see her in a wedding dress. Tomoyo has taken 3 days to make the dress without giving me a chance to see part of it. I'm sure she's cute as ever-," Daidouji-sama starts gushing excitedly, sighing happily and then drops gracefully into the chair across Touya's.

Sakura's wedding is probably the main reason why Daidouji-sama's in a good mood. She's always loved Sakura to pieces when she'd first laid eyes on his sister. Not that she doesn't love him. Her love to him was just a bit like distant love, compared to her love to Sakura, which is like hugging your favorite stuffed animal or something like that.

"Tell me, Touya-kun. Did you and Mr. Kaiba have some sort of oath?" She crosses her arms and leans back comfortably.

"No," He answers readily.

"Saa, Mr. Kaiba seems pretty pleased with our presentation. He wants to double the contract -even if the first year isn't even over,"

"I see. That's good," Touya responds politely, not quite knowing what Daidouji-sama's trying to say to him.

"Of course it's good! Mr. Kaiba is not an easy CEO to please, you know?" You've probably shown him that you're not afraid of him,"

"What are you trying to say, Daidouji-sama?"

She smiles.  
"I've received a phone call from him. This morning. He wants to double the contract with you as our presenter. He says he doesn't want anyone to present it, just you and just business-," she pauses in mid-sentence, frowning thoughtfully. "I wonder when you'll-"

"When is the meeting?" Touya cuts in and reaches for his organizer immediately.

"Wednesday, 9 o'clock sharp. His sub-office, East Shinjuku. You have 2 days to come up with great toy designs and proper presentation,"

Touya nods obediently. Daidouji-sama is very harsh when it comes to sudden presentations and meetings.  
She gives him another stern look, then leans forward to the desk and smiles.

"I'm sure your time will come" And then she's gone.

Touya stares at the place, however, a bit cryptically where his boss was seated a moment ago.

"I don't want that time to come,"

Daidouji-sama's comment has been so vague that Sakura won't be able to catch the meaning behind her words. But surely, it's not hard to find the implications. Daidouji-sama has meant about his time tying himself to -_the_ _One_- just like Sakura to that gaki.

It's too _-big-_.

To tie himself to -_the One_-, he has to break certain rules. Rules that he's so used to in dealing with being too secretive.

He's a very private person. An aloof person. It's a bit hard to see himself as someone who's willing to share something very private about himself with someone else.

_It's a sacrifice._

* * *

"To-ya... I...," Yukito nervously bites his lower lip, raising his right hand but stops. 

Touya raises his eyes up, patiently waiting for the other to say something. "Hm?"

"...nothing," Yukito breaks eye-contact, sighs almost endlessly and moves away from sitting across Touya like he usually did when he has time to continue re-wiping the class at the counter.

Touya frowns. Yukito has been acting very strange since he's entered Madam Butterfly that night. When he's entered, Yukito's busy clearing the counter away. His hazel eyes has taken one look at Touya, has swiveled a bit in panic and widened. His mouth has fallen open to tell him something but immediately Yukito has slammed whatever he's trying to say behind doors.

At first, Touya has thought Yukito's having problems with expressing something he wanted to share with him, so he supposes he's to be patient for a while. And being patient is not of the traits you'll see from Kinomoto Touya.

After watching Yukito for awhile, Touya begins to feel restless. Yukito's tried telling him something several times, but he's still having second thoughts, ruling Touya out.

Whatever it is, Touya knows it's big and probably very important to his friend. And at the end, he's getting more worried about Yukito.

Is he sick? Does he need anything? Or worse, is he in danger? Has something bad happened to him?

Touya slaps his forehead mentally, mutters something under his breath about being frustrated and instantly stands up to grab hold of Yukito's wrist.

"Yuki, are you okay? You've been acting very strange tonight,"

Yukito looks surprised and frightened up at him. He has stopped wiping the glass he's holding and opened his mouth to say something.

Touya watches on as Yukito seems to be at the point of telling him everything what has been bothering when in fact, his hazel eyes has backtracked again, ruling his friend out, once again.

Yukito's been re-thinking way too much, he's decided.

"You know you can always tell me anything what's bothering you, Yuki,"

Yukito looks helplessly at him, or maybe even sadly.

"You don't have to tell me right away though. Tell me whenever you feel all right," Touya offers the other a small smile, feeling slightly disappointed. Of course, he shouldn't expect his younger friend to trust him wholeheartedly to really spill the beans, right? They're from two different worlds, sharing just one plain friendship.

"I'm sorry," Touya pulls away and silently retreats to his seat to brood.

Tomorrow's Sakura's wedding and he's already feeling anxious. A few days ago, he's been having a peaceful time for once... but now, the little base he's been building for his new life has suddenly tumbled down.

_The dreaded day is coming already..._

* * *

Touya's waiting for Yukito to close up. He wonders absently whether Yukito's going to Sakura's wedding or not. Probably not, he sighs. Disappointed. He really likes to have the easy-going bartender by his side while his imouto-chan's going to leave him forever. He can cling on the other guy while his sister's going to tie herself to that gaki- 

It hurts to think about it. But the world really doesn't resolve around him, he supposes, that is why there's always pain on his path. Pain, because of those whom he cares about. Because the world doesn't resolve around him.

The bar is locked. Yukito glances at him -_hazel eyes looking unreadable_-.

Touya doesn't know what to do, so he just smiles crookedly at his friend and walks down the all too familiar path to home. His shorted friend follows him silently. An awkward silence has fallen upon them.

Touya feels uneasy. Thought, he doesn't know why but it probably has something to do with Yukito.

"To-ya..." it came out as a whisper. It's not loud enough to hear but somehow loud enough to make Touya stop walking with his back to his friend. There's a pause in Yukito's breath as Touya waits patiently.

"Yes?"

Yukito pulls Touya around to face him. His grip feels almost desperate if not a bit... strange. He meets with Yukito's earnest eyes.

"Your sister's wedding is tomorrow,"

Touya nods, looking a bit confused.

"... my master wants to meet you," Yukito looks worried.

Touya could only blink. "Your master?"

Yukito hesitates. "Yes... tomorrow at 8. He wants to meet you first before we go to your sister's wedding,"

"Does that mean you're really coming with me?" He couldn't help but crack a rare smile.

"If my master approves," Yukito hastily adds.

"Geez, is that what you're worrying about?" He smiles ruefully.

"No, it's not that-,"

"You've really made me worried,"

"I'm sorry. I just-I just thought you wouldn't take my master's request. I'm not sure what he's really trying to do- and I know you're really private about your life-" Yukito rattles on, not even noticing if he's saying anything sensible.

"...I still wonder why you call him your master," Touya comments instead. "Never mind. Let's go buy some sweets. There's one bakery store which is open 24/7,"  
He drops the subject suddenly and points at a bakery shop round the corner, a few feet away.

"But I don't have my wallet with me. It's at home!" Yukito seems to have been successfully distracted with the subject of food.

"My treat," Touya offers almost too naturally.

"No, you can't. I don't want you to spend your money on me. Let's just go home,"  
Yukito protests seems to be to be in vain, because his friend is already making long strides towards the said bakery.

"To-ya!" he follows his friend, protesting along the way about the sweets being too expensive, no need to spend money on him, no need for the sweets even if he's really hooked up on them.

Touya tries reassuring him that it's okay, he's just doing this because then they can still eat sweets at night and he's not having any money troubles so why not buy some cake?

Thjey've left the bakery after Touya's bought one whole big chocolate cake and an extra upside-down strawberry short cake. Yukito looks sheepish while walking by Touya's side.

"... Thank you," he smiles up at his taller friend.

The smile is true, on its earnest just like their first time being earnest to one another. Touya likes that smile better on Yukito's face. There's just always something sad about Yukito's other smiles. They look so hopeless... whatever reasons that made him smile so sad, is beyond Touya.

Maybe Yukito will tell him some time later, he reassures himself contently. He stays silent along the way as Yukito tells him about England, where he's once lived with his 'family'. Now that he thinks about it, Yukito has only talked vaguely about his so-called family...

* * *

They have decided to eat the cake at Yukito's apartment, since it's just a short distance -4th level of the building. 

Yukito prepares the plates, while Touya cuts the chocolate cake carefully.

"What's you sister like?" As usual, Yukito starts the talking.

Touya puts the plate down on the table and leans back in his seat, looking vaguely thoughtful.

Yukito blinks. "Or shouldn't I have asked?"

Touya closes his eyes, trying to decipher words how to describe Sakura. But where to start? Her personality? Her appearance? Her feelings for that gaki?

"... Sakura, my sister, resembles my mother. That's where their features stop," he sighs. "You'll have to meet her first before you decide to agree whether she's nice or not,"

Touya's face darkens as he remembers how his sister has grown from a little toddler to a young lady. It's not her fault... he's just being too protective over her. He pushes those dark thoughts aside and forces himself to remain calm or... indifferent for that matter.

He opens his eyes slowly, looking about to apologize for the lack of words of describing his younger sister properly when he meets Yukito's hazel eyes.

"...To-ya..." his friend looks as if he's surprised to meet his eyes for the first time.

Touya dismisses the flicker of panic in the other's eyes and breaks their eye-contact abruptly. "...And she's still going to a monster," The uneasy air has suddenly cleared when he said that.

His friend blinks, looking bewildered.

Touya smirks, giving Yukito a sharp look and munches on his piece of cake. For once, he's probably left Yukito bewildered behind with that one comment. There's just something great about confusing his younger friend. Maybe because he's assured he knows his sister the best.

_Hmmm... _but the little voice, the damn little voice, has voted for the other reason why it's great to confuse Yukito. The other reason that has been slyly added, but has escaped his mind in a flash. After that, he's forgotten about the other reason.

It's probably not even important.

Yukito watches Touya disappear in the elevator, still looking a bit lost. His friend might not be an open person, he's still easier to figure out if Yukito is taking his time to do so.

"Clow," he murmurs absently and closes the front door of his apartment behind him.

* * *

**-Saturday-  
**  
Touya wonders whether he should wear a tie or not. He doesn't want to look too formal in the suit since he's after all, Sakura's big brother. And then again, he doesn't want to look too casual, because he's going to have a meeting with his friend's master or whoever the guy might be. 

Besides, who wears casual clothes on such an important day like today?  
Touya has decided that after meeting up with Yukit's... whoever he'll go straight to Sakura's wedding.

He nibbles absently on his lips, while glaring at the small mirror on his desk. After debating for a moment about wearing tie or no tie, Touya finally looks at the time.

**7:45 AM.  
**  
He huffs, pulls the tie away and heads out of his bedroom. On his way out, he grabs the suit's over-coat and shuts the windows and then the front door behind him.

Touya has never really felt this nervous in his life before. But today, he finds his senses working in total chaos -at least, he thought his feelings are. Meeting Yukito's 'parent' is probably going to be a bit stuffy or rigid, and after that... it's controlling his raging feelings as his sister agrees to stay by that gaki's side for the rest of her life.

The floor on which Yukito is staying, has usually a peaceful aura hanging in the air, the aura like fresh air, breathable. Now, however, Touya seems to be almost choking on the heavy air. It's as if someone has released poisonous gas on his path.

Whatever he's dealing with at the moment, he knows, at least, his nerves aren't going to explode from the sheer of heaviness. It's suffocating... and no one seems to be having any problems with breathing. He looks at the laughing pair of girls passing him.

He wonders if he's just overreacting. How strange. Or his mind is playing tricks with him.

Finally he's reached Yukito's door. He knocks twice with oddly shaking hands.

The door suddenly flies open.

"Welcome,"

**END Chapter 4 **

TheNekoTalks:

- After thoughts regarding the small information of **Clow-Yukito** relationship; I'm trying to keep most of the canon stuff intact. The idea of magic in such a dreary world doesn't make sense, right? So I'm actually using the **Clow-Yukito** relationship paralleling to the **Clow-Yue** relationship. Even so, I guess this **AU** could be seen as a mystical story like for example the manga "**Binetsu Kakumei**" **:smiles nervously: **

- In reality, there's no one really _**-that-**_ kind and sweet to offer someone, whom they'd barely known, such grand kindness. That's why I warned you that it's a bit far-fetched. **:hangs head:** I guess I hadn't really noticed how fuzzy and snuggly this fic in its notebook-form really was before I started to type down this story. Other than that, I've noticed a few plot holes... too. Am I going too fast with the story by the way? And is it annoying that the story consist of a large portion of dialogues?

**I like to thank those who'd reviewed my previous chapter:  
:hearts: 3**

**Mischa Kitsune:** **:3** Oh, anyone would love to have him as one. Thank you for reading!! Happy holidays!!

**korosu-** **:blushes:** Aa-aa, just saw what you mean... thanks **:twiddles tumbs:**  
Did this chapter answer your answer?I know it's a bit farfetched to have Clow and the in it. They won't play such a big part here in this story though :sweatdrops: Thank you for reading!! Happy Holidays!!

**heheangel kisses-** Same here. **:sniffles:** But my friends are okay **:shrugs:** I'm trying out Touya being-not-so-negative, which is kind of hard. It makes him a bit OoC. Thank you for reading!! Happy holidays!!

**Tenshi ni Hoshii-** Aa, of course she's weird. But I think she's all right. This story won't go too deep on to that relationship though **:sweatdrops:**  
Yes, you can visit each other and if she or he has the anime series you want, you can borrow it :)Thank you for reading!!! Happy holidays!!

**K-1 -** That muchI can understand from the Cantonese version :) Thanks for telling me what EXACTLY it actually means whentranslated. Thank you for reading!!! Happy Holidays!!

**yaoishoujo- :smiles nervously:** Aa... now that you mentioned it, I never thought it as such. Before I typed this story down, I hadn't really thought about going further into the Spinel and Keroberos relationship since this story is from Touya's side of the story. I thought about using said relation in the sequel... if it's any luck **:sweatdrop:** Thanks for pointing that out. :3 Thank you for reading!!! Happy Holidays!!

**eye candy-:blushes: **So, this story is at least a bit understandable? I'm glad you like the story and I hope this chapter hadn't changed your mind on reading this story further. I know the story is a bit weird, but I kind of like it when I break some... cliche themes. :3 Thank you for reading!! Happy holidays!!

**Thank you for reading!! Happy Holidays EVERYONE!!!!**

**:smiley face:cin**


	5. Chapter 5

**Poison  
Author:** Nekocin  
**Genres:** Drama/Romance/General  
**Warnings: **Major OoC  
**Pairings:** mainly Touya+Yukito, other (implied) pairings like Sakura+Syaoran  
**Rated:** PG13 - R-ish  
**Disclaimer: CCS doesn't belong to me. It belongs to CLAMP. Only this fic belongs to me.**

Chapter 5: Mystic  
  
"Welcome, Kinomoto-san,"

Touya straightens himself effortlessly and enters Yukito's apartment.

Someone in foreign clothes is sitting in a red chair with a high backside, smiling strangely at him. The man neither looks too old nor too young for his age-whatever his age might be.

The cryptic smile, however, has surprised Touya the most. _This man looks like otou-san!_

"I'm Clow Reed. I'm sure Yukito has told you something vague about me,"

Touya nods mutely.

"As you can see, I'm neither old nor young but am still a parent. If your child suddenly talks about some stranger religiously, a parent gets worried,"

Does that mean Yukito's so-called master is also over-protective of Yukito? Or does it mean he doesn't like Touya hanging around with his 'son' one bit? Touya hopes it's the former one.

Clow pauses. "Please take a seat, Kinomoto-san. I apologize for not having invited you sooner,"

Touya could feel strange vibes coming from the man sitting across him. Or is he really getting them from Reed-san? Maybe it's because Reed-san resembles otou-san a lot-

"I'm fine, thank you. What is it you wanted to meet me for?" He adds the last part out of curiosity.

Mr. Reed smiles cryptically again. Unlike Daidouji-san, Touya has really no idea what the other's implying with that smile.

"I'm sure you'll watch over him just like how you've watched over your sister,"

Touya stares at the smiling, mysterious man. Mr. Reed is really trying to imply something. But he doesn't know what that _-something-_ is.

"We're just going to my sister's wedding. There's no need to worry about Yuki," he manages to say it out loud, looking up seriously at Mr. Reed. What could possibly go wrong on a happy day likes today?

"I'm not talking about the wedding, Touya-kun,"

At hearing his name coming from Mr. Reed's lips, he's gasped unconsciously as he sits up rigidly. It sounds almost like otou-san's voice-but what does Mr. Reed mean?

"You're a kind person, deep down inside-Yukito has told me. But are you good enough to be his friend?" Mr. Reed's looks as if he's calculating something even when his eyes are closed.

Touya frowns lightly. It's a very uneasy question.

"As I thought-Your friend is still sleeping, but he's awake as well," Mr. Reed stands up, both abruptly and gracefully. Long drapes of robes billows behind him, lovingly passing by as Mr. Reed walks to the front door.

Touya immediately stands up to-only to meet Mr. Reed's dismissive wave.

"Your friend is waiting," He smiles non-committal-which still reminds Touya of his father. The smile looks almost distant, almost sad. Touya doesn't know what's really going on. He's confused about his friend's -parent's- behaviour. Fortunately, that's the a difference between Mr. Reed and otou-san. Mr. Reed was mysterious, secretive whereas otou-san doesn't keep things to himself-at least that's what Touya thought.

His stomach suddenly feels empty and makes flip-flops. He knows that it has nothing to do with him not having eaten breakfast-  
Mr. Reed has left and he automatically sighs in relief. It's by then he notices how breathable the air has become and that the heaviness has disappeared.

"Yuki," He turns to the bedroom doors. Yukito's apartment, once warm and peaceful, has turned into some place cold, distant and lonely. Touya's afraid both he and Yukito were drifting apart even if they'd some fun last night.

_Is he just a good friend? Is that what Mr. Reed mean?_

* * *

He's watched how Sakura's wedding unfold like a movie without any sounds effects-just the beating of his heart that's slowly breaking. Of course, both wedding ceremonies (Chinese and Japanese ones) has come out very outstanding, and still Touya finds himself deaf to the whole world.

He watches on as Sakura appears in a Chinese wedding dress: a long, red satin dress, with short, yellow-rimmed sleeves-_she's clearly beautiful in red_, he muses sadly.

Tomoyo, Daidouji-sama's only daughter and Sakura's best friend (and also his second cousin), has done a wonderful job on sewing that wedding dress. Perfectly embroidered golden lines that form flowers, dragons, phoenixes and 'Luck' on the red satin. _So breath-taking_, he muses sadly yet again.

As for the husband-to-be, Li's dressed in a robe-similar to Mr. Reed's foreign clothes-which is clearly made of satin instead of the usual cotton. He's wearing a sort of buttoned-up, red satin shirt with long sleeves that reach over his wrists, while his pants are pointedly black.

The couple exchanges some Chinese bonding ritual, thanking Li's ancestors and then drinking a cup of the Holy Wine from each other's cup. After such a long time for sacred bondage, the Chinese wedding has finally ended. There's a short pause for everyone to rest a bit, before the time-consuming task of the other ceremony could take place.

The guests are then led to a temple nearby and kneel respectfully on the wooden floor farther away from the alter. They have sat so accurately that they've formed a path for the bride.

Sakura appears in a tightly-tucked, heavily decorated kimono with longer sleeves, that traces the floor as she enters the temple with carefully-balanced small steps. With utmost concentration on her straight back and small gentle steps, Sakura finally makes it to the altar and kneels carefully beside Li, who's now clad in the traditional dark hakama.

The rituals are spoken quite rapidly in a strange tongue as he looks at her straight back. How strange it was to see her so careful and so-unhurt for the first time when she's doing something quite important. Usually, she would trip over long robes she's supposed to wear, however, only on this day she has managed to keep her steps within the small space she's allowed to walk and succeeded. A small warmth spreads over his chest as he finds himself slightly proud of her accomplishment.

The last part of the ceremony has finally come, after the long chanting of the priest. Small cups are, yet again, filled with Holy Wine and the young married couple has sealed their bond together, at last. They down the cups of Holy Wine immediately.

Kinomoto Sakura is now officially Li-Kinomoto Sakura.

**X X  
**  
"Onii-chan!" Sakura calls out, clearly excited and happy as she makes her way to him, while struggling in the 3rd dress she's supposed to wear for the after party; a long silky-white dress that hung loosely down from her shoulders, with long sleeves that have long beige ribbons entwined together on the sides.

_She looks the happiest now...  
_  
"I thought you wouldn't come," Sakura's bright smile slowly dim as she hesitates just a few centimeters away from Touya and stares at something behind him. That's when Touya notices he's forgotten something-or rather someone.

Touya looks over his shoulder, knowing fully well whom he's forgotten. Apologetically he tries to catch his friend's eyes for a moment, however, Yukito has dropped his eyes already before his met the others.

_Hurt-  
_  
"-You-" Sakura takes the first step to react and peers curiously at the taller guy.

Yukito looks a bit glassy-eyed at Touya's sister and smiles nonetheless-even if it looks a bit nervous.

"Tsukishiro Yukito. It's a pleasure to finally meet you," As polite as he could get, Yukito bows in greeting.

Sakura returns the bow, just as politely. "I'm pleased to meet you too, Mr. Tsukishiro,"

"Congratulations on your successful wedding ceremonies. You're simply gorgeous," Yukito finally meets Touya's eyes, daringly for some strange reason. "I guess I should have believed you sooner when you said your sister resembles your mother, ne To-ya,"

Touya grunts something incoherently under his breath and takes his leave abruptly for a snack, feeling hurt.

"Hoe?" Sakura's beautiful green eyes blink a few times uncomprehendingly when her brother's back is turned to her.

"Saa, I'm sure he's mad at me for that comment," Yukito sighs under his breath. He's disappointed. Touya has been acting a bit off-or maybe way off-today, he's even forgotten his presence.

"Are you two friends? As far as I can remember onii-chan has never really hung around with people his age,"

"Madam Butterfly-that's where we met. At first, we didn't really see each other sitting since I'd been busy and then," Yukito explains patiently as he smiles.

"Madam Butterfly-That bar?" Sakura gives one of her best smiles away freely. "That's where I'd met Syaoran!"

Yukito's interest is instantly piqued. They start talking and talking-about everything-while giving each other genuine smiles for no reason...

**X X  
**  
From across the yard, Touya's having his 2nd glass of white wine while sitting on one of those plastic chairs for outdoor use only. He has left his friend (Yuki) by Sakura's side abruptly, just to get something to snack on-he's having a nervous breakdown or did his hands itch for spontaneous actions (whatever those might be)?

He knows he has hurt Yukito by ignoring the whole way, while they were heading to Sakura's wedding. The action has been unconsciously done, that's for sure. He didn't mean to keep Yukito outside and lost-

His eyes trail to his smiling sister. And then to Yukito. There's something about seeing both of them getting along. Touya finds himself downing some reachable drinks. He's feeling awkward watching them smiling and laughing from across the yard.

It doesn't take long before Touya has identified the strangeness in watching his sister and his friend together: Loneliness. He feels lonely. For the first time after befriending Yuki, he's truly acknowledged the feeling of loneliness in his life.

* * *

_He knocks lightly on Yukito's bedroom door.  
No one answers. Mr.Reed did say Yukito's asleep-and awake._

How's that possible?

"Yuki?" He grabs the door handle and twists it down.

He's never seen Yukito sleeping before-his friend is sleeping without the duvets. And Yukito suddenly looks so different. Silver, White and Indigo flashes in front of his very own eyes without having noticed the abrupt change.

Then blackness.

He then suddenly finds himself standing in front of Sakura's future family house. The wedding's about to begin.

* * *

Yukito's getting acquainted with everyone present at the party and participates in almost every game the guests are making up from playing basket ball to playing cards. Basket ball has been easy even if Mr. Li's a worthy opponent. Playing cards-Black Jack and 21 are quite friendly games even if it gets weirder by the minute as he keeps winning.

One wonders what kind of wedding this is; so chaotic. He doesn't care.

It's strange how well he's getting along with the other people even if most of them are younger than him. But he's missing something-and he doesn't know what that something actually is.

"Yukito-san! Let's take some pictures together!" Sakura suddenly appears in front of his line of view as she tuggs on his sleeve to follow her.

His smile immediately adorns his face. "Sure, Sakura-chan. Whatever you want,"

They head to the backyard, where a photographer is at work. In the last few minutes the both of Yukito and Sakura, are already on first name basis. Sakura is just too cute and too sweet to resist, Yukito has reasoned mentally.  
Touya has never mentioned that to him- Touya-TO-YA! He's not seen To-ya anywhere! He's whom he has been missing. Did he leave the after party abruptly too?

"Yukito-san, have you seen my brother?" Sakura's green eyes look up at him, hurt-probably thinking that her big brother has left already too.

"No. I've been wondering about that myself," He answers truthfully and looks around in search for his taller friend.

"He's probably mad now," Sakura drops her eyes and Yukito looks inquiringly back at her.

"Why would he be mad?"

"Onii-chan has been alone for quite a long time. Maybe ever since he's been taking care of me on his won. In all those years I've been living with him, I'd been watching him out of childish curiosity at that time, he's always on his own. If I'm with my friends, Onii-chan would be always alone either at home or somewhere at work. And And now I'm married-that's why he's mad,"

Yukito is at a loss. He hasn't thought about why Touya's so secretive about his personal life, always being a bit vague about personal things. As a matter of fact, Yukito is not sure if he knows Touya quite well-maybe Touya doesn't trust him with his life even if they're friends.

Yukito's understood instantly. He places a comforting hand on Sakura's slim shoulder and gives her a kind smile.

"I'm sure To-ya is not mad. I'll go look for him,"

"Hoe?"

Yukito gives her one last smile for the night and lets go of her shoulder. He runs off in search of his friend. It hasn't taken long before Yukito thinks about Touya's predictable trait: drinking. Usually people start drinking because they're depressed-

"To-ya!" He spots his friend at the champagne table, drinking and hugging the table. His friend is drinking himself silly!

Yukito's alarmed when he notices the trails of empty glasses on the table, next to Touya's hand. He immediately runs forward just in time to pick the same glass Touya's about to take in.

"I think you have enough for tonight, To-ya," Yukito steals the glass from Touya's possession. His friend growls in protest and starts sloppily reaching for the drink.

"Give me!"

Yukito tries to lock his friend's wrists in his hand as he carefully places the glass back on the table with the other hand, But he only manages to catch Touya's left wrist-the so-called weaker hand for a right-handed person.

Touya is desperately trying to reach the glass, almost knocking Yukito over if his friend hasn't been trying to fight his hands away.

"Please, To-ya. It's enough," he starts patiently.

"You're being mean!" Touya bursts out suddenly, slurring his words and struggling within Yukito's strong grip.

"Please don't do this. Once we get you home I'll give you anything you want, all right? So please stop drinking yourself stupid like last time," Yukito tries to approach gently as he carefully grabs Touya's other arm and pushes him away from the champagne table.

Touya's face is scrunched in anger, confusion, vain, desperation and exhaustion. He's slowly swaying in his steps, but with some assistance he didn't trip over his shoes or imaginary stones on the way.  
It's a surprise when Touya hasn't fought back any further, which relieves Yukito from having to knock some real sense into his friend's head literally.

"I can't take this anymore! I'm falling apart! I'm losing," Touya slurs out, drops his eyes and clenches his fists. "You have no right over me!" He rages suddenly, surprising Yukito. "You have no right to stop me!"

Somehow those words hurt Yukito like a splinter going through his eyes, or maybe like a dart through his chest. Yukito lets out an unconscious gasp. His friend really doesn't trust him with his life.

_"...He's always been on his own...," Sakura has said sadly.  
_  
_No! This is not right! His friend is truly drunk, saying stupid stuff. What will Sakura-chan think? She'll feel betrayed. _Her brother mishaving on her wedding day...it's sad how low his friend has sunk even if Touya could make him smile.

"Let's go home, To-ya," Yukito gets a hold on Touya's unstable stance by letting the other lean on him. It's awkward to have the other lean on him; because Touya is so tall!

"-Don't touch me-Get away-You've no right," Yukito hears his friend silently protesting somewhere above his head as Touya's hand instantly grabs for Yukito's shirt up front.

"Let's go home," Yukito repeats gently and starts half-carrying his friend out of Sakura's new territory.

"-You're mean-why are you doing this-why can't I just beat you up-Why is Sakura getting married-" Touya mumbles half angry and half asleep, under his breath.

Touya's an over-emotional drunk, Yukito concludes silently. Just like the first time when Touya has blurted out about everyone leaving him. Maybe he shouldn't be letting Touya drink-but that will mean he couldn't come to Madam Butterfly... to see him.

* * *

_He feels like floating-or is he drowning? Where's everyone? Shouldn't he be at Sakura's wedding? How strange-he feels the wind-no, someone's holding him. and he's holding that someone. Something vague passes between him and that someone like bees buzzing inside his head._

His companion is talking to him, buzzing yet gently. The vague voice lulls his drunken mind half to sleep and half to staying awake.

More water, he's sinking deeper-into the still water. He panics instantly. Why can't he swim? He keeps sinking-he flails his arms around, futilely trying to grab hold of something to make him float.

He's still sinking! He's still drowning-but why is he still-breathing?

* * *

He feels content when watching Touya sleep. His rhythmic breathing going up and down, short and slowly. Whatever Touya's dreaming about, it doesn't look like a happy one.

His friend's face is scrunched in worry, desperation-it doesn't matter.

Yukito couldn't help but widen his smile as he leans over to his friend's sleeping face. Touya's warm breath tickles his cheeks as he studies the face of his friend.  
He absently runs his fingers through Touya's hair.

No wonder why a lot of ladies fall for his friend-or at least his type. Touya is the tall, mysterious guy with the searcching penetrating look that could probably set any girl's heart afire.

Yukito chuckles to himself and pulls away. He couldn't believe this. Clow has warned him about his naivety. He cares about his friend more than he's ever care about anyone before except Clow. Yukito turns on his heels to leave the room, oblivious to his friend's condition

**_X X X X this is where I'm a coward X X X X (4)  
_**  
**END Chapter 5  
**  
**1. **I think this chapter is the worst of all the others. _Hmph. Gah!_  
**2. **I tried to keep everything at least a bit closer to the original series. I guess I failed. **:sighs:**  
**3. **Both weddings are sadly not really well-explained. The only wedding I haven't attended before is a Japanese one. How I'd come up with that part, was because of the fact that I've watched _"Para Para Sakura"_ a few years ago in which there's a scene of a quiet, small Japanese wedding of the main female actress. I apologize if there are any inaccuracies.  
It's wonderful to be at weddings by the way **:heart heart:** I'm not sure what you all think of weddings, but the after party is always cool...** :heart:** because they're food. **:sweatdrops: LOL n.n;;  
4. **Sorry, here's supposed to be the part where I'd cut. I'll type it next time when I'm not feeling too chicken...** :sweatdrops:  
**  
**TheNekoTalks:  
**  
I'm sorry for not updating this sooner. I had some-inner conflicts when I re-read this chapter. Most of the scenes are edited, but nothing much has changed except-perhaps the cut scene. **:blushes:** That scene has been a bit-uh-inappropriate. I just hope this edited version didn't make anyone more disinterested :**twiddles fingers hopefully and then sighs: **I guess I shouldn't be expecting too much from fanfiction writing about an anime which has been known since 1999.** :perks up: **At least I have finished this story! ** 3333**

**I like to thank those who'd reviewed the previous chapter 33 :  
-heheangelkisses  
-yaoishoujo**

Thank you for reading! Happy belated Valentine! Sorry for the long notes.

:smiley face:cin


	6. Chapter 6

**Poison  
Author: **Nekocin  
**Genres:** Drama/Romance/General  
**Warnings: Major OoC, **bad writing style **(sob sob)  
Pairings:** mainly **Touya+Yukito**, other (implied) pairings like **Sakura+Syaoran**  
**Rated: PG13**  
**Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura** doesn't belong to me. It belongs to **CLAMP**. "Prism" lyrics don't belong to me either. It's from **Kaiba** doesn't belong to me either. He belongs to **Takahashi Kazuki-sensei**.  
**Author's notes:** Hmm... this chapter is at least a bit decent. With some awkward styles and scenes of course. **:sighs:** Finally, Touya has gotten it into his thick skull **XP**.

**_# lyrics  
(...) translation of the lyrics  
_  
Chapter 6: Prolific  
**  
Today's Wednesday. Mr. Kaiba's going to lengthen the contract with Daidouji's Toy Company. He's asked for Touya's representation, specifically for the Executive producer and Head Designer.

"Mr. Kinomoto,"

Touya nods. "Mr. Kaiba,"

"How are you doing?"

Touya blinks. He hasn't expected to hear that question coming from the CEO.  
"I'm managing," Touya responds politely even if a bit evasively. "And you, Mr. Kaiba?"

It's only polite to ask the same question to the other who has asked first. Mr. Kaiba gives him a calculating look from across the desk.

"At the moment, disappointed. But over all—okay," he responds finally after studying Touya's face curiously.

Touya gives the CEO a questioning look, but he leaves it at that. He doesn't know what to say about the CEO's strange reply.

"Our contract—," he starts off before Mr. Kaiba raises a silencing finger abruptly.

"I've already read it before I contacted Mrs. Daidouji," Mr. Kaiba nonchalantly gestures to the contract to be passed over.

"Then, please sign there if everything is clear," Touya rises from his chair and passes the contract over the desk. He silently wonders why Mr. Kaiba bothers to have him as Daidouji-sama's representative when Mr. Kaiba is already familiar with the lengthened contract's terms. There's probably an alternative motive-

Mr. Kaiba signs the contract almost immediately. He leans back on his chair and crosses his arms after finishing signing.

"Lack of sleep?" He comments suddenly.

Touya looks up—maybe this is why Mr. Kaiba has wanted him to represent Daidouji's Toy Company; a little talk.

"Aa," he remarks neutrally.

Mr. Kaiba nods faintly. "Your eyes betray your sleepless nights-,"

"Is this why you want me to be here, Mr. Kaiba?" Touya eyes the CEO listlessly, not even bothering to take the folder with the signed contract back.

Mr. Kaiba's lips twitch slightly in a small smile. "I've been in your state before—sleepless nights, hollow eyes—,"

Touya waits patiently for whatever the CEO's trying to say. It's only natural when CEOs like Mr. Kaiba have sleepless nights; they overwork themselves to death behind their desks.  
So what?

An Executive Producer and Head Designer have sleepless nights too especially when Touya is both. Although his sleepless nights aren't about due to too much work

"You've been really off these last few nights, Mr. Kinomoto," That comment has caught Touya off guard.

"I do not know what you're implying, sir," It's then he notices Mr. Kaiba's smirk.

"I'm one of Madam Butterfly's regular customers. I'm quite surprised you haven't noticed me since you've gotten quite acquainted with Tsukishiro-san,"

Just by hearing the familiar names, Touya feels the blood drain from his face. Mr. Kaiba's a regular customer there? Why hasn't he noticed him? But—Mr. Kaiba really doesn't strike as the drinking type. Ironicallywell, neither does he-

"What business do you have with Tsukishiro-san?" Touya immediately asks defensively, feeling his hands itching to knock someone out.

Somehow he's easily slipped into his protective side without noticing as he studies Mr. Kaiba's face suspiciously. The other's face is set straight, no sight of wrinkles as if his face is just carved out of some wood. He's another cold bastard. What does he want anyways?

"The question should actually be—what's your business with Tsukishiro-san?"

Touya could almost imagine how smug Mr. Kaiba must be thinking. No wonder why a lot of people fear the CEO; the guy's an abnormal genius as if he could read everyone's minds without any problems...

"I've been in your state before, Kinomoto-san. So don't deny whatever I'm implying. Your hollow eyes are my evidences."

Touya feels his face draining once again. It's a fact he's been having problems with sleeping. He has never really got so worked up about sleep until this time. It's got so worse that he fears to even crawl into his bed at night when he _-in fact-_ loves to sleep. It's those dreams—because of those dreams he's afraid his life is undergoing drastic turns.

"Sometimes you must accept inevitability, Mr. Kinomoto. No matter how unreasonable it is. Just don't go on drowning yourself in those drinks. Besides, I'm sure your friend doesn't like the reason why you don't trust him," Mr. Kaiba pushes the folder with the Daidouji's Toy Company's contract to the other. He suddenly reaches for his pocket and pulls out his cell phone. The CEO looks at the number and faintly smiles.

"Will you lease excuse me-" He doesn't wait for an answer and swivels his chair around. The CEO turns to look outside the officer's window as he picks up the phone, and answers it.

Touya stares at the CEO's back, unsure about what Mr. Kaiba's trying to tell him.

Does he mean he has to accept these dreams -whatever these dreams mean-? So it's natural to fantasize, right? Is it? –But is it natural to fantasize about your f-?

The CEO laughs heartily suddenly, sending Touya's thoughts astray.

"—I know you want me—," Touya hears Mr. Kaiba tease the person on the other end of the line.

"My hands under your shirt—down your abdomen—,"

Touya immediately stops listening into Mr. Kaiba's conversation even if it's unintentionally. He feels his face burning. How shameless of the CEO to talk like that! People will listen in.

* * *

_Night.  
_  
The traffic is heavy at this kind of time and pedestrians are already filling the lanes like millions of the bees together. Everyone wants to get back home and spend the rest of the night either alone or with their family. It's been a busy day.

Because of the heavy traffic, Touya has decided walking to Yukito's work. Fortunately, he hasn't taken the car to work that day so it's not a bother to think about leaving his car at the Company's garage. It's then he slowly starts to reflect on Mr. Kaiba's words_—accept inevitability—  
_  
What did he mean?

Accept his fate?

But he's having shameful dreams! Shameful dreams of someone he's not even sure he knows of. And he's not naïve! He notices that parts of his dreaded dreams are a bit familiar. Similar to the scene he's almost witnessed on that traumatizing night; his first night with Yukito when he's asked him to wait—which is kind of disturbing.

Does it mean he's been lonely for too long and has to get a life? Or does it mean he's found his true nature in fending his tension off like that? Or maybe biologically seen, he's one of the late bloomers, getting sexually active this late?

But he shouldn't let that bother him, right? He's been single far longer than he's expected! He should be proud-

Faint music intro is coming from the bar, Madam Butterfly as he nears his destination. The tunes suddenly reminds him of a song from long ago—

**_#Kotchi ni kite jitto shite 'te  
(It's coming this way, steadily)  
_**  
He pushes the door open to enter and automatically casts a glance at the counter. Yukito looks up from his work, placing pieces of cake on a tray, smiles and waves as usual. Touya gives him a half smile and takes quick strides towards his favorite stool near the counter.

Some of the customers turn round to study him curiously for any interesting features as they wonder why their favorite bartender is giving Touya double acknowledgements -the wave and the smile-.

**_#Hora Kirei da ne  
(Look, it's pretty, isn't it?)  
_**  
Yukito sends another brilliant smile his way and carries the tray with the pieces of cake round the counter to a couple somewhere in the far corner. Touya patiently waits for him to come back as he lets his eyes wander round the bar. A few couples here and there and as usual the karaoke corner if not the stage for the bar singers, is the popular spot.

**_#Happa no ue sotto hikaru  
(Sunlight shines on a leaf, softly)  
_**  
Touya blinks.

Is that his sister on the karaoke stage? He looks closer, ignoring why he can hear his heart thumping in his ears.

**_#Hora Ame no tsubu  
(Look, here's a raindrop)  
_**  
The girl on stage smiles at someone in the crowd round the karaoke corner. That's definitely Sakura on stage. There's that certain innocent twinkle in the girl's green emeralds and the certain happiness in that smile that reminds him of Sakura. Touya strains his neck to see to whom she's smiling—

**_#Fushigi ga ippai Achikochi de DANCE shite 'ru  
(It's full of mysteries dancing back and forth)  
_**  
_-it's that gaki, his brother-in-law!  
_  
He sighs in defeat and slumps in his stool. Why is everything so depressing? First his strange behavior on his sleepless nights and now this-this bar! He looks down at his hands on the counter.

**_#Genki wo wasurenaide tte messeji ne  
(It's a message telling me not to forget happiness)  
_**  
No wonder the song has sounded familiar. He had once learned it at school and taught Sakura the lyrics. It's a beautiful song if it's sung Sakura.

An empty glass is placed in front of him, surprising him. He looks up.

Yukito pours the usual Light Moon Beam for him  
"Sakura-chan is very good in this, ne To-ya?" he comments heartily.

**_#Mawarimichi datte suteki  
Mata aeta mono  
(Even the roundabout way is lovely)  
(Having met once more)  
_**  
Touya stares at his drink, not moving a muscle.  
The lyrics start to fill his mind and without knowing, he let the lyrics emerge with his thoughts.

**_#Mahou da ne Sono egao  
Nanka hotto suru yo  
(Magic is in that smile, isn't it?  
Something just pops up)_**

#Tenshi ga ippai Poketto de DANCE shite 'ru  
Jibun wo shinjite ne tte yuu messeji ne  
(It's full of angels dancing in my pocket  
It's a message telling me to believe in myself)

#Suteki ga ippai Achikochi de DANCE shite 'ru  
Ganbaru haato ni sora kara no purezento ne  
(It's full of wonders dancing back and forth  
It's a present from the sky for my trying heart)  
  
The present is close—so close that he can put it into his pockets. And suddenly he sees something in a new light.

He then stares at the reflection on one of the alcoholic bottles. He immediately turns around to see whoever he's seen on the bottle and stares in shock.

Mr. Kaiba is sitting in a love seat somewhere behind him with someone on his lap—a guy-?

"Are you okay, To-ya?" Yukito touches his hand lightly, almost asking for reassurances—huh?

**_#Nani ka aru ka na Kono michi no mukou ni  
Nee Ikou Ikou yo Ikeba wakaru yo  
(I wonder if there's something at the other end of the road  
Hey, let's go, let's go, we'll find it if we go)  
_**  
Touya immediately turns his attention to his shorter friend and raises an eyebrow,

"To-ya, you know you can also come to me if you want to fend off anything that is troubling you at the moment. –You've been acting very strange lately. Is it because of work?" Yukito elaborates and gives him a comforting squeeze. He then pulls his hand away.

Touya drops his eyes to look at his hand on which Yukito's palm has just laid—

**_#Tenshi ga ippai Poketto de DANCE shite 'ru  
Kimi nara daijoubu da yo tte messeji ne  
(It's full of angels dancing in my pocket  
It's a message saying if it's me it will be all right)  
_**  
He immediately misses the warmth. It's not your every day occurrence that you long for your friend's warmth—well, at least to Touya, it isn't. So he grabs the retreated hand with his other hand and places it back on top of the one on which it had laid.

"To-ya?"

**_#Fushigi ga ippai Achikochi de DANCE shite 'ru  
(It's full of mysteries dancing back and forth)  
_**  
Before he could pull away in surprise, Touya has laid his other palm on top of Yukito's.

"Please don't pull away," Touya murmurs under his breath and carefully looks up—into Yukito's eyes, which are blank—then surprised.

Yukito smiles slowly. "Okay, whatever makes you feel better,"

"Thanks—I'll tell you later, okay?" Touya draws his attention back to Yukito's hand.

**_#Yume miru haato ni sora kara no purezento ne  
(It's a present from the sky for my dreaming heart)  
_**  
Yukito's hand is small, pale-looking and almost delicate. It's a big difference compared to his hand. He has big hands, tanned, strong-looking—Yukito's hand almost disappears from under his...

-he suddenly sees his friend in a different light.

"—I've been thinking-," Touya begins hesitantly and searches for Sakura in the crowd. "—about my world falling apart,"

He rubs his friend's hand absently, his eyes finding the object of his deepest affections; Sakura is beaming, happily singing without any worries.

"No—that's not it—I've been having problems with sleeping these last few nights and-and it has nothing to do with Sakura!" he adds quickly when he sees Yukito opening his mouth to comment.

**_#Kotchi ni kite jitto shite 'te  
(It's coming this way, steadily)_**

#Hora Kirei da ne  
(Look, it's pretty, isn't it?)  
  
Yukito blinks, then smiles sheepishly and drops his head. He is patiently waiting for his friend to continue.

Touya is about to continue when suddenly the disco lights goes on and the club music starts to play.

Everyone is on the dance floor. Loud club music is played in the background and somehow everything starts to pound, destroying the little peace they have just had. The counter is suddenly surrounded by lots of costumers.

"Uhm—maybe this can wait. I've to go back to work. Please excuse me, To-ya," Yukito smiles apologetically and slowly pulls his hand away.

Touya watches his friend serve the costumers patiently.

He really does see his friend in a different light. The way Yukito moves, the way he smiles, the way he talks—he immediately pulls himself from drowning into his silly fantasies. Oh gods—he feels something ticklish in his stomach—

He forces himself to roam his eyes around.

_Girls!_ Beautiful girls in clothes they call 'sexy'. Girls in night gowns, revealing their bare backs or shoulders or even their legs. He unconsciously casts a glance at his friend and studies his movies—so graceful and aloof. So much more-much more than graceful and aloof—

Instantly, he stares in horror at his friend, pulls his eyes away and looks at nearby girls in their sexy clothes. _Where are his thoughts going nowadays?_ He watches as the girls make out with the guys, sucking their faces and half revealing their bodies shamelessly to their partners—He suddenly feels a bit uncomfortable in his seat.

_Oh gods! What's happening?  
_  
He pushes his way through the crowd, ignoring the tempting touches he's getting from practically the whole club.

His world is spinning. Everyone is having fun making out. Perhaps even having daring intimacy in public. Yukito will be pretty traumatized. Gods! The world is going crazy. The lights are flashing around irritatingly. His head is pounding horribly because of the music beat. But he hasn't really gotten _that_ drunk, right? Right?—

He suddenly breaks into a run, hearing the distinct '**_To-ya!_**' call from the back of his head.

* * *

He curses himself for forgetting about Yukito like that. Both of them would usually walk back after Yukito has closed up. It's a routine he's not willing to break.

Touya leans against Madam Butterfly's building, sighing in regret. Yukito is probably mad at him right now. Mad at being forgotten like this.  
_Oh gods_, his hands are shaking already. What's happening to him? He stares-

"To-ya? Is that you?"

Touya immediately stops staring at his shaking hands and whips his head up to meet Yukito's eyes. Touya feels his face pale while his ears redden. He doesn't understand why Yukito is smiling brilliantly at him...

"For a moment I thought you had left me because you were getting impatient. I'm sorry for taking too long. Tonight has been quite one busy night for me-," Yukito continues only to have Touya silencing him with a hand over his mouth.

Touya rudely forces down his uncertainties and regains his composure.  
"You're babbling, Yuki," he said at last.

He then smiles softly—with hidden affections.  
_This is wrong! This is bad!_ But he wants to be certain of what exactly he's feeling...

"We'll talk about this next time, all right?"

Yukito's hazel eyes twinkle in anticipation as he nods obediently.

"—Come on! Someone has left some home videos on my doorstep. So why don't we watch them together tonight?"

_Nice move. But where the heck did that idea come from?  
_Touya pulls his hand away and Yukito's smile is revealed.

"Okay—but I've to tell Clow where I am going to be for the night,"

Touya stuffs his hands into his pockets and turns to look ahead of their path. "All right,"

They begin their walk alongside each other.

"What are the movies about?"

"Not sure. Somebody has just left a few rented videos on my doorstep. The reviews on the boxes says they're R-rated action movies," Touya shrugs nonchalantly as if not really caring who in their right minds would go on leaving stuff at people's doors—which actually means he's wondering about it actually.

"I'm just trying to steal you away for the night," he blurts out absently. Touya stops in mid-step, his mind reeling back in surprise, and blinks. He then looks nervously at his friend...

Fortunately, Yukito doesn't seem to get the implication. He just chuckles,  
"You're so cheesy tonight, To-ya. What will your girlfriend think?"

Touya automatically goes defensive, "I don't have a girlfriend. What makes you think I have one?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I guess you just strike me as the type who has one already,"

Touya curiously watches his friend from the corners of his eyes. Yukito has dropped his eyes to look at the pavement as he nervously plays with his sleeves.

Touya lets out a sigh, feeling guilty somehow. He lightly touches Yukito's back of his head without fluffing the hair aside; a gesture, which he usually uses on Sakura whenever he tries to reassure her.

His friend gasps in surprise and instantly stops walking, his back rigid. The action has made Touya smile a bit.

"It's all right. I'm not mad. I can never be mad at you,"

In a way this has turned out to be so unexpected.

"—but even so, why do I feel this hostility coming from you?" Yukito whispers, not looking up at him. He is afraid that Touya is going to lash out at him for being so blunt about his sudden girlfriend comment.

Touya's smile creeps down instantly. Slowly, he pulls his hand away and takes a step further to face Yukito. Bringing his hands up to hold his shorter friend's shoulders, he steps into the other's personal space.

Yukito's head shot up in surprise. "To-ya?"

"You're a good friend of mine. If it weren't for you I would have left the living already-,"  
Yukito flinches.  
"-I'm just having some problems with the -new- turns in my life," Touya explains with care.

Looking up at him with those big wide hazel eyes—_so irresistible, so naïve_—he smiles disarmingly up at him—_carefree and unforced_—because Touya trusts him.

* * *

After picking up Yukito's pajama's and toothbrush, they've immediately gone to Touya's apartment. While Touya is making some night snacks, Yukito is using the bathroom, preparing for the night. It's like they're having a slumber party for the first time.

Touya's looking forward to the night—he's never invited anyone to sleep over at his apartment before, not even Yukito, who's already made Touya sleep over at his for a few times. He feels giddy like a child opening his presents on Christmas—_oh so exciting._ It's like re-living a childhood, a happy childhood, which he has never had.

Yukito appears, dressed in his blue pajamas embroidered with half moons on the sleeves and collar, and leans on his elbows on the kitchen counter.

"Can I help?" He asks, looking eagerly at Touya's broad back.

Touya grants him a glance over his shoulder and shakes his head lightly, "No. You go on ahead."

"Okay! You won't mind if I run through the reviews while you take a bath, right?"

"Do whatever you want. I already told you to feel yourself at home here," Touya mumbles and turns his attention back on his current task—making pop corn.

"Okay, anything embarrassing I should know before I accidentally stumble upon any of them?"

Surprised, Touya glances automatically over his shoulder. Seeing as Yukito is trying hard to keep his face straight but failing miserably, Touya glares good-naturedly, "Hush you."

Yukito grins, "It's a great opportunity for me to find blackmail against you, you know?"

"Shut up,"

It seems like Yukito is also excited about the sleepover, he notices eagerly.

After a few more playful teasing and threats, Touya goes to take a bath while Yukito occupies himself with reading the reviews at the back of the VHS tape boxes. It doesn't feel unusual to have someone sleep over for the first time, not even threatening. Maybe he should do this more—preferably with Yukito.

"Are there still any snacks left while I was in the shower?" He wonders as he enters the dimly-lit living room.

"There's plenty. Why did you ask?"

"Just making sure if there are still enough,"

"_TO-YA_!"

Touya chuckles lightly behind the back of his hand. "Come on. Let's put it on,"  
He plops down on the sofa next to Yukito, after pressing the videotape into the video player.

"This should be interesting," he comments out of the blue.

The warning scroll appears on screen and then the production and sponsor logos. As the short prologue is being played, Touya finds his mind wandering—it's been about a month and 2 weeks since he'd thought his world is ending because of Sakura's engagement. The pain has dulled now compared to the pain he'd felt that day.

His next few steps in life have been reckless, but promising anyways. If he hadn't listened to that little voice, he wouldn't have found a friend in Yukito. The pain of having lost Sakura has become just as dull as the pain of having lost his parents. It's unfair to compare them, but at least it's specifically logical in his mind.

And besides, he's still smiling. Fate has been merciful on him the last few days not counting his dreadful nights. He's found peace—in a way; a peace that needs to be confirmed through trust.

He absently looks at his side where Yukito is sitting—so engrossed in watching the movie with his wide curious hazel eyes.

Touya carelessly throws any caution in the wind and places a hand purposefully on top of Yukito's. His friend looks down at their hands and raises his eyes to meet Touya's, questioningly.

"Thank you for coping up with me," He confesses in a quiet murmur.

Yukito gives him a lopsided smile and then turns his attention back on the movie.

Touya smiles lightly at his oblivious friend. His friend probably has no idea what the implication actually is. Well—neither did he, for that matter.

**END Chapter 6**

TheNekoTalks:  
  
I apologize for my vague comments at the end of the previous chapter. **Chapter 5** isn't the end of the story, **chapter 8** is actually the end. The uncut version of chapter 5 will be posted in **Slashfanfiction** because it's kind of between **NC-17-ish** and **R-ish** even though it's just a short scene at the end (and because I'm a bit comfortable to post it on Slashfanfiction instead of and It's the first _almost-a-lemon-scene_ I've ever posted on the Internet. So it's kind of embarrassing. But if you really want to read it, go browse Slashfanfiction and search for my penname (_Nekocin_) or search for the story under the same title.

_And oh, about the rented videos on his doorstepsit's supposed to be Kaiba who's left them at Touya's doorstep.  
_  
**I like to thank:  
-FanOfWriters **(**:blush:** _Wa_, thank you. That's okay; I hope at least I haven't written anything disgusting to make you grimace in chapter 5 _-uncut version-_, considering the fact you're not really into shounen ai. **:3 **Here's the new chapter. I hope you're not bored yet. There are still 2 chapters to go  
**Thank you for reading and reviewing this!**)  
**-yaoishoujo** (**ACK!** I apologize for being a bit too vague. That wasn't really the last chapter. The last chapter is **chapter 8**. **:sweatdrops:** I apologize for giving you the idea that it's ended. **-.-** _Shame on me! _  
I purposefully didn't make Touya apologize... just didn't think it's the right time for him to do so. **:3 **Thank you for still reading and reviewing this story **:heart heart:** It feels good to be mentioned, ne? I like mentioning those who'd reviewed at the end of a chapter, but if not, I might email them or mention them in my livejournal or just thank them in my many dedicated one-shots** :smiles:**)

**Thank you for reading! I love this story very much because it's my first baby to have a finish (:cries over her other unfinished works:)! _Kakkoii nya! _Happy Belated Easter! Holi Paghwa (A Hindi Holiday; though I'm kind of late for that)!)!**

:smiley face:cin


	7. Chapter 7

**Poison  
Author:** Nekocin  
**Genres:** Drama, Romance, General  
**Warnings: **Major OoC, lots of uhm—naughty thinking?  
**Pairings:** mainly Touya+Yukito, other (implied) pairings like Sakura+Syaoran  
**Rated: **PG13  
**Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura** doesn't belong to me. It belongs to **CLAMP**. **Kaiba** doesn't belong to me either. He belongs to **Takahashi Kazuki-sensei**.

**Chapter 7: Sceptic**

Touya wakes up in a start. He blinks his eyes open, feeling completely disoriented and pushes himself up. His muscles immediately protest at the strain he's made himself sleep. Both his back and neck are feeling sore, maybe even stiff.

Where is he again?

He rubs his eyes absently and looks around.

The TV is still on--the open channel which is usually reserved for watching VHS tapes, is on screen. He's in the living-room, having fallen asleep on one side of the couch. Some empty snack bowls are on the small table... Yukito, his friend, is peacefully sleeping on the other end of the sofa, curled up on his side.

For a moment Touya watches Yukito's serene face, faintly listening to Yukito's light breathing. His friend is going to feel the pain on his sides and in his legs if he keeps on sleeping in that position. Besides that, the couch isn't one of those comfortable places to fall asleep upon.

Touya carefully stands up from the couch, stretched himself by reaching out as high as he could with his arms, and looks back down at his slumbering guest. He kneels next to the sofa and carefully slides his arms under Yukito's neck and knees, shifting him into position. Ever so slowly he stands up, holding his friend in a damsel-in-distress in his arms and again, looks back down at his slumbering friend to see if he's rudely woken him up.

He didn't.

Yukito continues to sleep, oblivious to the shifting.

Touya lets out a small sigh as he slowly makes his way to his bedroom and places his friend on his bed, tucking him in under the navy blue sheets. Almost immediately Yukito lays on his other side, snuggling closer to the pillow and lets out a small, curt happy sigh.

Touya smiles down at his oblivious friend... he must be dreaming of paradise. Suddenly he notices the patterns of Yukito's baby blue pajamas. He has to bit back a laugh when he affirms what he's suddenly noticed just by staring at the patterns again.

One side of Yukito's baby blue pajamas is decorated with half and quarter moons, while the other side is decorated with little, white bunnies. So cute!

Yuki buries his face into the pillows almost hugging them.

He has never really watched Yuki sleeping before—no, wait, maybe once he did, but he cannot remember anything from that time—he sleeps like a rose?  
That's not a good comparison.

Yuki's lips are drawn firmly, controlled together as if he's about to lash out something thoughtless. His face is set straight, a bit harsh even if it's unconsciously done, like a distant mask. As for his closed eyes, they seem to frown once in a while...

What has made the easy-going Yuki to sleep so restless?

Touya isn't sure if he wants to know. Yukito has been so happy and untouched at times when Touya is taking his time to observe him unnoticeably. After all this time he hasn't paid much attention to his friend until he has caught himself looking at Yuki differently.

Has it always been there—the frown on Yukito's seemingly carefree face—?

How selfish of him, only knowing the pain of losing his sister. He's been so set on his pain that he's almost forgotten his true nature of being the one who's born to protect. And the thought has sounded like a contract...

Without knowing why, Touya runs his fingers through Yukito's tousled hair. He combs the strands of hair back, almost too tenderly, and—stops. He immediately comes back to his thoughts—_this is wrong_—. Touya guiltily pulls his hand away as if having done something out of the ordinary, which is true nonetheless.

Now he has to convince himself completely that him seeing his friend runs deeper or rawer than normal friends would see each other. It's so daring... This is too troubling.

He forces himself out of the room and steps into the bathroom, leaving Yukito in his oblivious state.

* * *

Work.

Work has never been so fun to him before. There's this blind eagerness inside of him that urges him on to finish his work quickly. It's as if he has just noticed how wonderful the air he breathes in is. The eager feeling swells up, touching his insides willingly and making him feel as if having been reborn to this world. Finally!

There's this sense of being so damn happy and carefree today that Touya has to resist smiling on his way up to his office. A carefree smile that can never be seen on Kinomoto Touya's serious, emotionless or rather distant face. He cannot allow his fellow-colleagues to get a glimpse of his perfect good mood.

Touya immediately throws himself into his work, passionately perfecting the models of the newest neat toys and writing down the toys' proper statistics. (After all, there needs to be a memoir of new toys somewhere, especially when Daidouji-sama is a successful business woman) He suddenly thinks of doing something nice for her, and anyone who's worthy of his attention.

Daidouji-sama is a bit hard to please since the both of them aren't that close enough to know each others' likes and dislikes. But there's one think he does know about Daidouji-sama's simple 'like'—it's Nadeshiko—his 'kaa-san. Some fresh nadeshiko flowers on Daidouji-sama's doorstep sounds like a nice thing to do.

Sakura—he should do something nice for her too—is easy to please; she appreciates any gift given to her. What about that gaki—his brother-in-law? Hmmm—sending something nice to Sakura is probably enough.

Oh! He's almost forgotten Tomoyo. Even if they aren't that close, Touya thinks Tomoyo deserves _-at least-_ something too; she has always stood by Sakura's side.  
His mind slowly wanders to Yukito.

Before he has left his apartment, he's left a little scribbled note on the night table next to the bed, saying that he's at work and breakfast is already made.

Yukito is probably still asleep, lying on his bed either stretched out carelessly on his back gripping the covers lightly, or curled on his side snuggling his face into his navy-clothed pillows. In his baby blue pajamas—Touya smiles faintly.

**_--He slowly tilts his face to the side, exposing his bare beck despite the collar of his sweatshirt.--  
_**  
Yes, and his friend is probably exposing more than just his neck side. Sleeping is a sentimental thing that lays one nakedly sensual in its wake—whatever that means. If only he could touch Yukito—

Touya immediately stops his train of thoughts—his strange thoughts—his strange and shameful thoughts—, and he rearranges his papers. He shouldn't be thinking like this about his friend.

He'll never get a chance to have him anyways.

It's so strange to see things like this. To see himself _-liking-_ his friend more than just a friend. If he were lucky, Yukito probably wouldn't even notice the affections running deeper. He doesn't want to lose the small relationship—the small base, which he's built along with Yukito. The little peaceful bond—

Touya sighs in defeat. He quickly banishes his troubled thoughts from the surface of his mind and busies himself with leafing through the thick phonebook in search for flower shops and gift shops.

Why isn't he panicking about this turn of event? Is it because he has always knowing the feeling is there? Or maybe because he knows he'll get over these feeling— someday?

**_--and he kisses the lips tenderly, silently asking for encouragement--_**

* * *

Touya watches his days and nights pass by like a movie without and end or any sounds. Things have gotten pretty normal (or the lack thereof) now that those disturbing dreams or thoughts aren't really around to pester him. He is -sort of- back into the good-friends-business with Yukito and the aloof worker at Daidouji's Toy Company.

His daily routine are eagerly done: waking up at 5, preparing for work, digging his way through the mountain of work on his desk, going to Madam Butterfly for a drink or two and spending time with Yuki as long as he can.

He seems to be operating on autopilot as each day goes by without noticing it himself. Like a movie. There's a darker side in this movie which Touya absolutely doesn't want to evaluate--this darker side has made this emptiness, this hollow feeling known in his chest. But he has no idea what it really means--and why.

He is back in normal state, right?  
Everyone—well, sort of everyone not counting those who dislike him--is proud of his work, right?  
He likes to spend his time with Yukito at night, right?  
So what is actually wrong? Touya isn't sure about the latter, but—it has something to do with this re-born feeling. And Yukito is still oblivious of his subtle affections!

Nothing could be done about that one, he sighs in defeat. But what if Yukito responds to his—subtle hints? Touya isn't sure how to react if Yuki were to return his feelings.

"Courtesies from your fans, To-ya!" Yukito flashes a teasing smile as he elegantly raises two glasses of rum in front of his line of view.

Touya glares -not with malice- at his friend, who places the two glasses near his half-empty Light Moon Beam. After placing the glasses down, Yukito rests his elbows on top of the counter and easily reflects Touya's sitting position across the counter.  
It doesn't feel awkward sitting across him and have a staring contest with Yukito like the first time they had one. Touya had to suppress the unexpected blush when his friend had stared into his eyes trustingly that time. It seems like Yukito was trying to understand him.,

However, this time Yukito has stared at him for only two seconds before shifting his gaze some place else.  
Touya frowns lightly.

"This has to stop," Yukito mutters under his breath barely loud enough for Touya to hear. But heard it, he did.

Touya raises an inquiring eyebrow. "What has to stop?"

"This!" The bartender gestures at the space between either of them. Immediately Touya feels the blood drain from his face.  
'This'—as in _-their-_ relationship?

He chokes.

-b-but why? Has he done something wrong in Yuki's eyes? Has he mistreated him?  
Or—has Yukito discovered the truth through looking into his eyes?

"Why?" Touya bites back another choke. He didn't get his answer.

Yukito raises his eyes over Touya's shoulder and nod once. A costumer behind Touya must have ordered something. "I'll be right back,"

The bartender reaches for two empty glasses under the sink and grabs a bottle of vodka. He uncorks the bottle slowly, almost hesitantly and stops, looking thoughtful.

Touya watches, transfixed, but instantly drops his eyes when Yukito's own hazel ones meet his by accident. Maybe Yukito knows. Then it's for the best to stop their friendship. But why does it have to hurt? He unconsciously grips the front of his collar—his chest constricts—it's as if he couldn't breathe anymore.

"This has to stop." Yukito repeats firmly.

The words seem to taunt him, piercing his chest mercilessly. Why this pain? It's different from the pain when he has lost Sakura—but it's still pain.

"Decline their offers next time. I don't want to see you hurting yourself with alcohol," Yukito continues as he comes near Touya's side, holding the two glasses filled with vodka.

Decline the offers?

Touya blinks and lets his mind backtrack. It doesn't sound like a break up... so he waits for Yukito to continue, nervously -for the first time- holding his breath as he clams on the counter as if his life depended on it.

"Drinking yourself silly is not an option. You can't keep Sakura-chan to yourself!"

Touya blinks, looking up in surprise. Sakura? What has she got to do with anything?

"I know you love her the most but she's an independent woman now, a fully-grown woman who pursues a well-paid career and sharing her life with a nice man. And-," Yukito abruptly stops and nervously raises his eyes once again to meet Touya's own.

Guilt. He's looking guiltily at his taller friend.

Touya's heart makes an abnormal leap.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—It's none of my business," Something flashes through Yukito's eyes, immediately skittering away before Touya could understand it. He shakes his head mentally. He must be seeing things, he assures himself.

Yukito drops his eyes, looking ashamed.

This is getting too awkward, Touya notes.

He grabs for something nearby—a fork—picks out a random piece of cake from his plate and leans on the counter.

"Yuki," His tone has come out firm and a bit too demanding. But at least his voice sounds controlled compared to his thumping heart.

Yukito flinches visibly and opens his mouth to release a string of apologies. His friend instantly takes advantage of this opportunity and shovels the cake into Yukito's mouth.

"You know—for a moment there, I thought you were going to end our friendship," He pulls the fork gently out of Yukito's mouth, watching with amazed eyes as Yukito's graces the plastic fork when he bites into the cake.

Widened hazel eyes stare back at him in question.

"As long as I can be with you, nothing matters," Touya gives him one of the rare smiles the second time he has flashed the smile which he usually reserves for his family.

"I admit it hurts whenever I think about her. But at least I know she's happy. And besides, I have you to turn to," He says truthfully. Wherever he's gotten those words, they're closer to a well-thought out confession even if it's unintentionally spoken.

Yukito doesn't seem to notice the double meaning. He simply smiles gratefully and raises his eyes to meet Touya's face, seemingly content with Touya's speech and glad for he's shared something both deep and personal with him. Yukito's smile changes slightly. It turns playful.

"Have you ever heard of 'sister-complex', To-ya?" He suggests.

Touya glares immediately, having caught the subtle meaning. He stabs the last piece of cake on his plate with the fork and takes a bite, glaring with narrowed eyes. Of course he has heard of that word! But it sounds so accusingly coming from Yuki's mouth.

"Sakura-chan has mentioned about you being mean to her telling me I have to watch out for you," Yuki adds good-naturedly, probably having forgotten their awkward moment a few minutes ago. The heavy air, which has settled between them without any notice, evaporates.

"Shut up!" Touya grumbles.

Yukito chuckles. He looks at the glasses (filled with vodka) he is still holding and puts them away, guiltily smiling up at Touya. "I think you have had enough,"

Touya raises an elegant eyebrow.

"From your admirers," Yukito explains. "I'm glad you're still here,"

Not really knowing what Yukito is trying to say, he just nods. He feels his chest getting both lighter and heavier at the same time. And the heart increases its beating as the night goes by.

* * *

"Are you free after work?" Touya has finally gathered his courage to ask _-that one-_ question suddenly. That one simple question that will either lead him to a place of luck or to a place of pain depending on the one being asked.

Yukito gives him a funny look, clearly confused and answers with an unsure, "Yes".  
After work they usually walk back home together or eat at some cheap noodle shop—it's their way of spending time together. So why exactly-?

"Let's go some place else tonight!" Touya answers the unspoken question, looking eagerly at his friend in a Touya-like way.

Gods! It's like his throat is constricted, like he couldn't even breathe properly at the moment. Holding his breath for anything, which may come out of his friend's lips, he waits patiently.

Yukito is unsure how to react to this. He hasn't counted that Touya could be suggestive, for his friend is pretty secretive about certain aspects of his life.  
So—this must be a good sign. A good sign that Touya is trying to move on, sharing something with Yukito again. All this is overwhelming to Yukito.

He looks at his friend's barely-noticed nervous face—why is it always set straight like a mask?

Touya seems genuine to have him come along. He doesn't want to lie to him--and besides, he's already feeling quite excited himself. It's not his every day that he sees Touya at least visibly excited like now.

"--Okay. Clow knows about our routine walks and there at night, so—I think it's all right," He slips a quick smile on his face as he responds to Touya's suggestion,

Hearing that, Touya unconsciously lets out a sigh of relief. He feels as if the heavy weight of the world has lifted from his shoulders.

For the moment there, he has been guiltily thinking about what Yukito might say about his strange question. It's already weird when one has these strong, haphazard feelings whenever Yukito is around. There's a deep longing for comfort perhaps.

Touya waves his thoughts dismissively and watches Yukito busy himself with uncorking some new bottles of drinks. Hazel eyes raise to meet his briefly only to drop instantly and focusing back on his work.

Yukito looks worried, he notes.

"You know, To-ya. You've been acting pretty strange tonight,"

"I'm okay,"

"You sure?"

"There's nothing strange about my behaviour. I'm just trying to adjust,"

Yukito raises a skeptical eyebrow.

"Oh right, I forgot. Do you want some more cake, To-ya?" He smiles sheepishly for forgetting his duty as a bartender who is supposed to ask his clients if they want extras.

"No thank you,"

"But you've let me eat all yours," Yukito points out.

"I'm just not too hungry tonight,"

"Oh—okay. But you cannot waste your cake on me. Customers will suspect you being—odd about whatever you've bought,"

"Not that I care what they think,"

"To-ya—!"

"All right. I just notice how you like—no, _-love-_ cake. More than I myself. So I let you have most of them," Touya confesses. His lips twitch into a fond half smile.

"You look so content while eating them,"

Yukito's face flushes lightly. It's embarrassing to hear that coming from his friend. It makes him sound like—a hog or something.

"Thank you, I think—but you don't have to feed me with your cake,"

Touya smirks instantly. "As long as you're happy there's nothing wrong about eating my cake."

His friend blinks once with his hazel eyes behind the big pair of glasses, having struck speechless by that comment and his hazel eyes flashes slightly in color.

Touya is strange whenever he is trying to express himself properly. Curt, short sentences while using that disciplined stance—such a mysterious prince charming to all his admirers.

Touya's eyes turn sad for a moment. "But there comes a time when you don't need me anymore,"

"Huh?"

"Nothing," He quickly mutters out and drinks his glass of Light Moon Beam empty in one gulp.  
It's a wonder he hasn't choked himself to death yet. Or getting himself dead drunk yet. His alcohol tolerance is probably getting higher as each night passes.

Yukito drops the issue instinctively and starts wiping the counter after having filled Touya's glass with Light Moon Beam again. How slender his arm—how elegant his moves—

Touya sighs unconsciously, rests his chin on his palm while leaning his elbow on the counter and watches the on-goings around his friend. The loud parties, The drunkards. The youngsters.  
He brings his eyes back on Yukito and takes a good look at him.

There's not much Touya could describe Yukito. He is short compared to his height. Slimly built and lithe compared to his own lanky form. He instantly catches himself running his eyes over his friend from head to toe.  
Yukito is simply a bit effeminately built with his slim shoulders and hips, slender arms and legs, cute head and a pair of shortsighted romantic hazel eyes. Nothing seems out of the ordinary and still there is something—something strange about Yukito.

So he is really checking his friend out. It's just too unreal to think of himself separated from Yukito's side—there's another catch than just staying friends forever and that is—

"You like what you're seeing?" A deep voice startles him before Touya could identify what exactly the 'catch' is in his mind. He immediately recognizes the deep voice and places a face to the owner in his mind's eye.

Mr. Kaiba slides down on the bar stool on Touya's right, without looking at his face for he is just busy studying someone—the bartender for that matter.

"Good evening, Mr. Kaiba," Touya bids nonchalantly downing his drink quickly. The liquid burns as usual as it foes down his throat. He unconsciously lets out a sigh as soon as the burning has subsided a bit.

"Good evening," Mr. Kaiba sounds amused and turns his face to look sideways at Touya.

"So am I right about you?"

So cryptic, so mysterious—Touya doesn't care which word sounds better and stares at the CEO, hoping to stare him down probably. Having the other's presence nearby just irks him even if he respects the CEO.

Tonight is supposed to be his night with Yukito. As special night, that is.

"Don't be so defensive. I have not done anything to you."

Touya narrows his eyes, annoyed. How does this guy read his mind?

"What do you want, Kaiba?" He blurts, rudely dismissing the formalities.

Mr. Kaiba doesn't seem to mind it. He gives Touya a little smile—coyly—and raises the drink he has been holding. "Just a drink before going home, Kinomoto,"

He eyes the CEO suspiciously and turns his attention back to Yukito. It doesn't matter if Mr. Kaiba notices him staring at his friend. He didn't care.

"You know, I've always thought you were more a ladies- man," Mr. Kaiba comments suddenly, gently shaking his glass in small circles while watching the amber liquid bump against the glass' insides, and then downs the drink without hesitation.

"I have been in your position before too, so I guess it's not a surprise,"

**END Chapter 7  
**  
**- 'kaa-san – **mother (can also be** 'okaa-san'**)**  
**  
**TheNekoTalks:  
**  
We're nearing the end and I guess it feels anti-climatic. **:sighs:** I just wanted to end the story _-quietly- _and make it look as original as it can be. After reading many of your wonderful responses, I feel as if this story needs more chapters... **:shifty eyes:** I might consider writing some side fics (one-shots in particular)... and post them here. I'm not making any promises... I'll just think about it.

And I need to read more **Touya/Yukito** or **Touya/Yue** stories too! **:cries:**

**I like to thank:  
**  
**-korosu - **That's all right. I don't mind. I didn't upload the said 2 or 3 chapters that fast... had been a bit occupied with reading others' fanfiction **:sweatdrops:blush:** I hope I didn't embarrass myself with their characterization... **_:3 Thank you for reading and reviewing! _**

**-FairyMage - :blush blush:** You've read the _-uncut-_ version? **:blush:** Aa, okay thanks. I'll probably upload it as a B chapter in the near future (would that make up for my incompetence?). I was afraid chapter 6 was going to be confusing... **:sighs:** **_Thank you for mentioning :333_**

**-Fairy Mage (again) -** Was it too sugary? I apologize for letting your teeth rot... ehm, Kaiba was supposed to be a supporting character, someone who was supposed to push Touya into _-that-_ direction because he recognized himself in Touya. **:blush: **That's all right... I hope this is still considered good shounen ai/yaoi. I'd really worked hard on this story when my computer had crashed. Ah **:smiles:** reminds me of myself too—whenever I read such good shounen ai/yaoi and occasionally hetero I would get hyper and write very long reviews to the authors. Here's the new chapter, I hope it's still an all right one for you. **"Poison"** is the only story where I'd planned how many chapters it should consist and I didn't want this story to get dragging-ly long, making it 20-something chapters or so. I might bore you (I tend to write different styles). But there's still a sequel told from Yuki's side...**:smiles:** I need to work on that one soon (only one-fourth of chapter 1 is already done) **_Thank you for reading and reviewing (twice even :heart:)!_**

-**heheangel kisses - :laughs:** I tried to make it mysterious why Kaiba was acting a bit weird in the beginning, but I guess he came out hilarious. **:blush:heart:** I'm glad you love this chapter. I thought it was a bit too sugary—but, but it had sounded so right in my head while I wrote that chapter. Really? I've never had one either. But since Yuki and Touya really do have 'slumber parties' (just studying mostly) in the anime series, I thought it would be cute to add that one too, to make at least Touya's feelings known. He's such a difficult character to express certain nice actions. I feel relieved when you say that, I thought Yuki-fans, or Touya-fans would fry me for changing a little of their favorite characters' attitude. **_:heart: Thank you for reading and reviewing!_**

**-Rei Asakura -** I'm glad you've fallen in love with this story... **:looks down at you clinging on knees:twitch twitch:** _I'mnotgoingtoyieldI'mnotgoingtoyieldnotgoingtoyield _**:looks at teary-eyed Rei:twitch: **ARGH! Here's the new update! **:blush:** That title makes me feel like any neko-person. (Don't worry about it, I'm not really a Japanese student-in-training) **_:3 Thank you for reading and reviewing!_**

**Thank you for reading! Thank you for your wonderful responses!  
I apologize for the long notes!  
**  
**.:Nekocin:. **(I'm changing my signs at the end of my stories, because the usual _smiley face_ and _neko ears_ I'd signed in my earlier works cannot be used anymore and I find it silly every time I sign out with **:smiley face:cin**)


	8. Chapter 8

**Poison**  
**Author:** Nekocin  
**Genres:** Romance, General  
**Warnings:** Major OoC, bad writing style, **_MAJOR FLUFF!_**  
**Pairings:** Touya+Yukito  
**Rated:** PG13  
**Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura** doesn't belong to me. It belongs to **CLAMP**.

**Chapter 8: Majestic  
**  
"An amusement park? "

Touya nods eagerly, grinning more to himself than to his friend. Yukito stares at him, incredulous, but smiles nonetheless. He shakes his head lightly.

"What? You don't like the amusement park?" Touya wonders out loud as he looks down at his friend.

Yukito chuckles. "That's not it, To-ya. I've never been to one before,"  
He gives the surprised Touya a shy look.

Touya didn't dismiss the look completely. And he smiles slowly. "Me neither. Let's go then,"

He whisks out two entrance tickets, cheekily like a child whose most important wish has come true and motions towards the park's entrance.  
It didn't take long before Touya is dragging Yukito to one boot and then the other, excited.

He never felt this excited before; he has only known control and responsibility in the past.

In another time Touya would have scowled at these rides -time spilling-, however, now the feeling of excitement, caused by these rides, is definitely welcome, from the sweet pony rides to the all-time freaky roller coasters.

He loves how some rides are making his eyes swirl, he loves how his blood runs through his veins and most of all he loves it when he can share the sensation with someone. It's as if he's turned into a little child without worries again. A little carefree child to boot.

If anyone besides Yukito has seen him here, they might not be able to believe he's the same poker-faced guy who works as Daidouji-sama's right hand guy. Okay—maybe they will, since Touya's only let out small smiles throughout every ride both he and Yukito have taken.

Yukito's the one who's completely enjoying himself, relaxed, and beaming excitedly. His eyes hold a certain twinkle while his smile grows wider than usual, showing off the nice front rows of teeth occasionally.

Touya keeps sending his friend contemplative glances, silently wondering when he's truly going to let himself be completely accepted by Yukito's seemingly carefree life. He really wants to tell his friend everything.

Transfixed, he watches as Yukito starts to laugh easily as their ride has picked up speed.

The strong wind slaps against their faces, running phantom fingers through their hair and letting them feel their ears stiffening in cold. It doesn't take long before their ride slows down.

Touya runs his fingers through his disheveled hair a few times to get it right and slowly steps out of the ride.

"That's fun," Yukito grins at him fixing his glasses and looking more disheveled than Touya's been. He wobbly sets his feet outside of his ride.

"Careful,"

Touya instantly gets a hold of Yukito's wrist and slowly helps his friend out of the ride, smirking fully when he notices how flushed Yukito's face looks. He's definitely enjoyed the ride.

"We should do that again some time," Yukito chuckles, absently clinging on his friend's arm for support as he shakily takes some more steps forward.

"How about we go eat something and close the night off with calm rides?" Touya offers, carefully combing Yukito's haphazard hair with his fingers to set them back to their places as he helps his friend recover his balance.

"Sounds great!" His friend wheezes out with a smile.

It's by then Touya notices their proximity and how he's running his fingers through the other's hair -which he had never allowed himself to do-. Somehow everything slams into his face—reality claws its way back to his mind. He immediately stops touching, flinching his hand away as if having burned and looks worriedly at his shorter firned, wondering if Yukito has noticed. He didn't.

Touya lets out a sigh of relief and smiles unnoticeably down at his oblivious friend.

"My treat tonight!" he says suddenly and leads Yukito to a nearby snack stand, located in the heart of the amusement park.

Yukito opens his mouth to protest, but wisely did not argue as soon as Touya has sent him a glare. If Touya is trying to spoil him tonight, he isn't complaining--yet.

Touya slowly lets go of his friend's arm when he's sure Yukito isn't going to topple over the plastic chairs to where he has led him. He then runs off to order something to drink and to eat. Sandwiches and Oolong tea.

"I can't remember having so much fun before," Yukito comments eagerly as he inspects his sandwich carefully. Touya watches him with amused eyes.

"Of course with Clow and the others any place is a fun place. But somehow I feel this is special—with you by my side," Yukito continues, smiling innocently up at his friend.

Touya feels his heart skipping a few beats and something very warm spreads over his chest. "—Aa," He feels the same too—about their special night.

He slips the straw between his lips and turns a casual look to Yukito. "—so, how is it going with your savings?"

Yukito chews happily on his sandwich and smiles. "Oh, it's okay. Clow says I can go back to school once winter approaches,"

"Will you live at school too?"

"Ah, no. I don't want to live at school or anywhere else except with Master,"

Touya frowns. Clow again—  
He's starting to feel something inside of him twitch. "Oh—did you decide on that or did he?"

"I did,"

"—wouldn't your place be a bit too crowded or too noisy?"  
He couldn't help but prod. It's not in his nature to prod, however, he just—just—Touya's shoulders slumps. He shouldn't be acting like this. Selfishness—it does not exist in his book. It's also not fair to -drill- the answers out of his unsuspecting friend.

"Yes. It will. But I'm used to it and—Clow understands, so he'll surely send me to a quiet room or to the library," Yukito finishes his sandwich and starts with another sandwich, still smiling.

Touya decided to drop the subject and looks away, feeling stupid and awkward.

"How is work?" Yukito has luckily caught on to their awkward situation.

"It's okay," He looks down at Yukito's other hand on their plastic table and imagines how it would feel like to entwine his fingers with the other's own fingers. Perhaps it feels warm—complete and certainly prosperity.

"What kind of work are you doing, To-ya—or shouldn't I be asking?" Yukito continues and slowly gets an uncertain look on his face. He peers at his thoughtful friend, heart racing without a reason he could recognize.

"Executive Producer and Head Designer of Daidouji's Toy Company," Touya says automatically and carefully sips his oolong tea non-too-exaggeratingly.

"That's great—but wouldn't those two jobs be too much for you?" His friend voices his curiosity innocently as he finishes his sandwich and starts on another sandwich.  
A small smile appears on Touya's face. Honestly, he really should tell his friend about safe facts like where he works, what's his favorite color, which one of his jobs is more likeable etcetera... they are after very good friends, right? He shouldn't be hiding more things than he already is trying to, right? And at the moment it is a good time to do so.

"Not at all,"

"Workaholic," Yukito comments good-naturedly, giving Touya a teasing glance.

"I have to be one or else I would have downed myself a long time ago," Touya defends impulsively.

"I'm sorry—I didn't mean to—,"

He turns his eyes away from Yukito's earnest hazel eyes when he has caught his glance by accident.  
Even if it's a ridiculous action—they're both alone, talking and eating—it's normal in a sense to look at your companion straight into their eyes. But tonight Touya doesn't think it's all right to look at his friend _-that way-..._ it's improper. Even though he has accepted those feelings already. Yukito must not under any circumstances know him **_-best-_**.

"Don't worry about it," And yet he could not help but lay a hand on top of Yukito's resting hand just like the other night and give it a light squeeze of reassurance.

"Do you still want cake? Wait—no matter. We still have to take a few rides. I don't want you to feel sick after these rides," He immediately pulls his hand away, catching both surprised and confused looks his friend is sending him from the corners of his eyes.

"You're very kind,"

An awkward silence suddenly settles between them—Touya keeps sending non-too-visible glances at his friend, while Yukito is finishing his food with downcast eyes, wondering if he's offended his taller friend somehow.

"Look, I'm sorry, To-ya," Yuki blurts out immediately, when he has taken a long moment to pause without eating. He gives Touya one of his earnest glances that made the other unresisting to his urge to look straight at the other's face. "I don't know what I've done wrong, please forgive me-mmph," Touya's hand has suddenly shot forward and silences Yukito.

"Stop making me repeat the same thing, Yuki. I can never be seriously mad at you," Touya looks at his friend with thoughtful eyes. Yukito has the greatest eyes—and more often the most mysterious too. His eyes slowly trails down to Yukito's pale face—to his lips—he wonders—  
"-so stop apologizing," He sends the other a small grin and pulls his hand away, almost shakily.

Touya watches as the guilty look clears away from his younger friend's face and Yukito grants him one of those nice smiles that always makes him feel special—somehow.

"—are you up to a walk in a haunted house?" He suggests immediately, after noticing Yukito is done with his lunch. The other smiles again, seemingly having forgotten one of the few awkward moments he has ever gotten himself into whenever Touya is around.

-----

"I can't believe you're afraid of ghouls, To-ya," Yukito couldn't help but snicker at his friend's unhappy face. It doesn't take long before he bursts into unusual chuckles.

Touya sends him a glare, but did not comment. Actually, he isn't really mad at Yukito—he just couldn't be mad at him, even when the other is making fun of him for his own pleasures.

"—but then again, I'm not far from yours anyways," Yukito continues, smiling sheepishly as the both of them leave the park for their apartments.

"Witch shrieks?" Touya suggests slyly, his eyes softening once they trail down to the young bartender.

The latter blushes, still smiling.  
"I don't like it when I hear voices without seeing the speaker himself," he elaborates softly and ducks his head.

He's probably ashamed, Touya has thought fondly.

Before he knows what he is actually doing, he ruffles Yukito's hair gently, coaxing the younger man from his embarrassment.  
"And I don't like getting surprised by up-popping creatures when I do not sense them within distance," He explains curtly—Yuki's hair is so soft and so warm—

"Fortunately, it's not a permanent fear. I'll get over it. Probably you too," Touya continues and slowly pulls his long fingers away from Yuki's beautiful hair.

His friend looks speechless up at him, confused and startled, as strands of hair dance disheveled about when the cold night wind brushes phantom fingers through them. He looks so lost—

"What do you fear the most?" Yukito wonders aloud, still looking lost in Touya's opinion.

The question sounds unusual in his ears, but he just—likes the voice, even if Yuki asks strange questions. His stomach feels as if it's fluttering while his pulse races, now more noticeable than before. Fear.  
What do you fear the most? The words ring in his head like alarm bells.

"I used to fear losing my sister," Touya says truthfully and walks past his friend with a few big and determined strides thanks to his long legs. _-Now, I'm afraid to lose you-  
_If anyone besides Yuki has asked him such a personal question, he would have either ignored it or lied while answering. But there's no one besides Yuki who has asked it—and why always Yuki anyways? Why is it always Yuki who dares asking him such bold questions?

Yuki did not even call at him to slow down. After a few more determined steps ahead, Touya starts feeling guilty for acting so out of character in front of Yuki again. He turns around, opens his mouth and just when he is about to apologize, an angry driver honks his car warningly.

Touya finds himself in the middle of the road—

Startled, he reflexively jumps back to safety, pushing Yukito (who yelped in surprise) backwards and unintentionally cornering his surprised friend against the wall of a nearby building. Touya's body goes rigid, as soon as he notices their—rather—compromising position; him towering over his friend—  
To his own horror both his hands are planted on either sides of Yuki's head. It's like looming over the young bartender—

Touya swallows, mutely watching as Yuki is done orienting himself after the shock.

His pulse races almost more violently than last time, his head is even spinning, and he slowly finds himself breathing shallowly against his friend's face—breathing almost the same air.

"—To-ya—," And the words die down from Yuki's lips once he looks up at the Executive Producer. Whatever he has wanted to say is probably thoroughly forgotten.

Touya's eyes meets up with Yuki's clear, amber-colored eyes that are silhouetted slightly with hazel and swiveling suspiciously silver-purple here and there. Yuki looks speechless with wide eyes on him.

This situation looks just like the one in his dreams—he keeps his face serious as he descends—Yuki looks confused, but did not really suspect the awkwardness in their proximity, or else he would have pushed him away. And he descends—he could feel how shallow Yuki's breathing has gotten when his face is covering the distance between them oh-so-slowly.

Yuki really smells nice--it is like

"—To-ya—,"  
It's barely a whisper, but very loud enough to shake Touya back to his senses. He blinks in horror and abruptly pulls his face back, eyes wild.

"I'm sorry—I-I don't know what has come over me—," Touya apologizes clumsily and pulls away from cornering his friend. He runs nervous fingers through his hair, shoves his hands into his pockets, pulling them out again and scratches the back of his neck, shamefully.

Yuki only blinks a few times and slowly regains his composure. His cheeks redden. The color fades slightly as soon as Touya opens his mouth to apologize.

"I'm sorry. I can go away if you want me to-,"

"Don't say that, To-ya,"

"-I'm not supposed to do that-,"

"What are you talking about, To-ya?"

"-I didn't mean to be mean-,"

"TO-YA!" Yuki has finally managed to silence Touya's uncharacteristic babbling with his own uncharacteristic stern glance. He looks surprised—not believing that he's just silenced his friend like that.

Touya feels bewildered—Yukito has—glared—at him for the first time. He couldn't resist twitching his lips upward; he smiles. "I didn't know you could glare like that, Yuki,"

Mistaking the words for anything but a teasing, Yuki reddens and pulls back. "I'm sorry,"

"I think it's best we go have some cake," Touya gives Yukito a disapprovingly looks for his apologizing without any reason.

Yuki perks up.

He casually lays his arm over his friend's shoulder and gently pulls him along. We need the sugar desperately, don't you agree?"

He notices how the rose hue across his friend's nose deepens, whether it's because he is embarrassed or because his arm, Touya did not know.

-----

Touya has bought an upside-down cake, layered with vanilla cream and decorated with peanuts and cherries. Unlike before, Yukito hasn't spoken one word of complaint tonight, which has encouraged him to buy an extra cake, just in case.

Yuki has given him an embarrassed look in the end.

"Ne, To-ya, where are we going?" Yuki wonders curiously as he turns to look around for anything familiar. Neither one of the buildings he sees are familiar to him, and still To-ya continues to walk calmly down the empty streets.

"Some place open where we can share the night together. I know just the right place," Touya answers and throws a secretive smirk in Yuki's direction when the other blushes lightly.

As they stroll further without exchanging words, Touya sends cautious looks at his side where Yuki is following his steps, and grips the bag with the cake, tighter. Should he tell him tonight? He did not want to—he just silently hopes that Yuki feels at least something for him.

"Here we are!" Touya stops in front of a _what-seems-like-a-random_ building and looks up at its size indifferently.

Yukito did the same, only with awe and confusion written on his face.

"Daidouji's Toy Company? Your office?" Yuki wonders incredulously, while his cheeks redden suddenly without any reason to.

Touya feels his insides bubbling with anticipation and fright as he nods in response. He takes out his identification card and waves over one of the night guards.

"Ah, Kinomoto-san! Good evening, sir. How may I help you?" The night guard greets after opening the main entrance door.

"Good evening. I apologize for troubling you. My friend and I would like to go up on the rood and watch the matsuri's from up there tonight," Touya explains and gestures to Yukito and then to the boxes he's carrying in the sack.

The night guard couldn't help but gape at the Executive Producer—It's very well known that Kinomoto isn't one of the social guys working under Daidouji-sama's reign.

"I apologize for interrupting your work too, sir," Yukito bows politely from behind Touya and gives the night guard a small apologetic smile.

"AH! Ahahaha, I'm sorry for my rudeness, sir. Come on in! Come on in! The Matsuri you say, sir? Ah! I forgot that tonight there is a matsuri in near the local Ueno Park," the night guard chuckles embarrassedly and motions for both of them to enter the main hall. He closes the main entrance again and tips down his black hat. "Have a nice evening, sirs. Coming here to see the fair from up there is probably not such a bad idea,"

Touya nods in responds while Yukito smiles in gratitude.

**X **

Finally, they've reached the roof without any interruptions.

The night is spotted with twinkling stars, some brighter than others, some dimmer than most, and covered with one or two puffy gray clouds here and there. The city seen from up the roof looks breath-taking—high skyscrapers illuminated by the streetlights and their outside lights, making it look as if they are in the middle of a colony of fireflies—a city of lights.

Yuki leans his elbows on the roof's railing and stares at the beautiful city's horizon, while the night wind blows his hair in disarray again, making his cheeks go red from the cold.

"It's beautiful," he finally sighs out and turns to look at Touya, who has taken a seat on the floor.

"Un," Touya takes out one box of cake and busies himself with cutting the cake into several pieces.

"I used to come here when Sakura sleeps over at a friend's house or when she's abroad on vacation,"  
He passes Yukito the biggest half of the cake and lies on his back—stretched out, while putting his hands at the back of his head like a make-shift pillow. He did not need to look up and watch Yukito doing the same, lying next to him instead of paying attention to the cake.

There's no need for it.

"That's kind of lonely," Yukito comments softly at last and stares at the winking stars above.

Staring at the black night sky has suddenly made Touya feel small—too small to bear something secretive perhaps. He didn't know why he is thinking about something so useless as his 'size' at the moment. Maybe it reflects his loneliness, it reflects his lonely life, his lonely road.

He has always been lonely—right?

"I haven't always been lonely, you know?" Touya remarks suddenly and turns his eyes to look at Yukito's face.

"Really?" His voice sounds faraway—

Yukito looks enchanted at the night sky; there's an almost boyish charm in his bright face. He is seeing the sky in a different light, perhaps quite the opposite of what Touya has been thinking off—or perhaps nothing at all.

"Yes, there's always someone who hears your cries on this roof,"  
Touya smiles softly when Yukito chuckles.

"You mean your boss?"

"Aa." Daidouji-sama has always been a caring mother to both Sakura and him.

Yukito chuckles again, pushes himself up in a sitting position and eyes the cake. "Everyone cares about you and yet you feel lonely,"

Touya fixes his attention back on the starry night sky, not saying anything first before thinking everything through.  
"I'm very sure it doesn't apply to my current state," he remarks at last while ignoring his hammering heart and the rushing of adrenaline in his veins due to both his fears and excitement.

"Such a smooth talker, you," Yukito pokes lightly the side of Touya's ribs and picks up his portion of the cake.

Suddenly fireworks are being set off and color the night sky with their beautiful sparks of colors. Flowers bloom in the sky: bigger ones, smaller ones, louder ones and squeaky ones.

The matsuri has started!

Yukito lets out an impressed sound behind the back of his throat as he watches the beautiful display of fireworks.

Touya has been right to bring him up the roof. It provides them a clear view of the blooming sparks of colors. Red. White. Yellow. Purple. Green…  
They watch the fireworks in awed and comfortable silence until one of them has drifted off to sleep.

Touya couldn't help but let the corners of his lips twitch into a small smile, even if his muscles are hurting. Yukito has fallen asleep as soon as he has lied on his back again to watch the artificial colors explode in the dark night sky.

He could be so adorable without knowing. Touya waits patiently for the burning feeling of disgust to use—but nothing happens. It seems natural to call Yuki adorable—even if it sounds a bit pathetic, because Yuki is more than just adorable. He is—indescribable; nice, wonderful, heart-warming, loving—just too many words for Touya to be thinking of.

Yuki shifts to his side, curling up to Touya's side and shivers unconsciously due to the exposure of cold air which the other didn't seem to be used to.

Touya suddenly gets this crazy idea in his head and moves before he could re-think— He slings is arm over Yuki's arm and warps the other carefully in a one-arm embrace that's meant to warm the other's body. It doesn't take long before Yuki snuggles closer and buries his face in Touya's jacket's front.

"—warm—," Yuki sighs out in satisfaction at last, making Touya smile wider.  
Someday he will tell Yuki. He will confess. For now, he will take it slow. He will wait for Yukito to catch up to the fact that his older best friend has fallen for him.

Ma—next time.  
He buries his nose in Yuki's hair and slowly drifts into sleep as well.

**THE END of POISON**

- matsuri -- festival**  
- Ueno Park **-- It's a real park in Japan. Ueno Park is popular because of wonderful cherry blossoms trees growing there. It's one of the main attractions for tourists and also one of the most visited places for the locals. Usually, _hanami _("watching flowers", a sort of family reunion thing under a sakura tree while they admire the cherry blossoms' beauty) is held in this park. (Those familiar with CLAMP's other works might know that cherry blossoms are sometimes used for symbolisms in certain series--think **X/1999**, **Tokyo Babylon**, **Card Captor Sakura** etcetera--so I couldn't resist adding something about cherry blossoms too.) **  
- Maa **-- "Oh well," (for one "Maa". Double "Maa" means something like "please, please" ( don't fight))****

TheNekoTalks:  
  
**1)** Way too many smiles. Urgh! Too much Fluff! I believe when the sequel is out, there will be less fluff there (I want to try out_ ANGST_. _ANGST_. And more **_ANGST!_**).  
**2)** I believe I've messed up the _"Mr."_ and _"-san" _a bit, as if this is a mixture of Eastern and Western story. I apologize for my incompetence. I'll revise all 8 chapters in the near future because of some probable errors.

Ah! This is the end of "Poison" **:heart heart:cries: **It's so wonderful to have a completed story. And I hope I didn't disappoint the end of the story much--it feels as if "Poison" needs more chapters **v.v;;** Side one shots would work, right?

Anyways, this story is named "Poison" because I'm trying to refer the story to the mild-alcoholic drink -_Light Moon Beam_- Touya is used to drinking once he's entered 'Madam Butterfly'. The title can also be seen as drowning oneself in misery with not only in drinking, but in closing oneself from other people (isolation in other words) just because the main character has found no reason to live perfectly after his precious person is taken away. Regarding the chapter titles--I just thought they were cool words **(n.n;;)** and (yet) they still--somehow--hold a certain meaning regarding their respective chapters.

Now the follow up of "Poison" -which will be called "White Lies"- is next. It's the sequel of this story--only from Yukito's PoV. There I'll probably explain a few little things some of you must have missed--like the vague descriptions and add some more action, if not exciting, scenes there (think drama).  
Geh! I've noticed this fandom is slowly dying out... **(:sniffles:Nuooo!)**

**I like to thank:**  
**  
FairyMage** - Thank goodness! I was afraid I over-did their relationship. You can fangirl all you want, I'm not bothered. Euh... **:blush:** ehehehe, that scene was sort of cliché, but I figured that if I _-HAVE-_ to get their relationship to work I should do something about how Touya sees Yukito while the other is asleep (I usually am not that fond of 'love at first sight'-stuff where the main character suddenly hops into the bed with his counterpart). I apologize for shifting your love from Touya to Yukito.** :pouts: **I have yet to end my other stories (this is my first)--I feel so inferior (you've already ended your storieSS--and no, that's not a typo). We'll see about that when I get "White Lies" out. **:D Thank you for reading and reviewing!**

**Tenshi no Hoshii -** Don't worry about it. I myself have a lot of school work piled up in front of me (that's partly why I cannot update as fast as I can). **:blush:** I feel flattered that you're still fond of my story. **:D Happy cleaning! Thank you for reading and reviewing!**

**Yume-chan - :blush:** I'm quite flattered with your review.** :blush:** (Sadly, I've to end the fic with 8 chapters--though as mentioned above, the sequel will come out too, that is... if you're interested.) **Thank you for reading and reviewing!**

**ThisbeCeyx - :blush blush:** U-uhm... ehehe, really? **:blush blush:** I'm glad the story is well received. I'm not too sure about the grammar--since I've a faint suspicion I've some bad grammar hidden in my chapters. **:heart heart: Thank you for reading and reviewing!**

**Yo -** You do? I didn't know there's a movie about Madam Butterfly **:wide-eyed:** What's the movie title? I'm glad you like it. **:heart: Thank you for reading and reviewing!**

Thank you for reading! Thank you for your wonderful responses!

I apologize for the long notes!  
  
**.:Nekocin:. **(I'm changing my signs at the end of my stories, because the usual _smiley face_ and _neko ears_ I'd signed in my earlier works cannot be used anymore and I find it silly every time I sign out with **:smiley face:cin**)


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